Month Eighty-Nine

Dear Husband,

Well here we are at the end of another year. And seemingly, we are no wiser than we were last year. I mean you’d think we might have learned that you trying to buy me a watch as a Christmas present was an exercise fraught with danger and unforeseen perils. A threat to goodwill and burden borne rather than a blessing received. Even if you don’t quite understand it, I have tried to impart on you that jewellery for me is a very personal thing and not a functional thing and so it definitely matters how it looks and how it feels and if it doesn’t “feel” right then it’s wrong. And that’s not to say that you are wrong or unappreciated or incapable or anything else that you were feeling but everything you showed me didn’t feel right so it wasn’t. You can’t make a square peg fit a round hole so if you actually want me to wear the damn thing and not stuff it in a drawer never to be seen again then I really can’t justify the expense right now. Its not as though we have that much to spare.

Because what we really got each other for Christmas this year was an evaporative air cooler. Since the old one was pretty much a rust bucket, we would have been in for a hellish season without the ability to cool down so we had to suck it up so we could blow it out. That’s pretty much it, isn’t it? We did have to wait a little longer than I would have liked. I brought the topic of buying a new one up a couple of months ago with you but you said to wait and by the time you had finished waiting, it was days before Christmas that provided the earliest opportunity to get the unit installed. Right before we went away on holidays. Figures. I shouldn’t complain though, I know. We did get it before what I am sure will be the height of summer and we can afford to get it as opposed to not being able to afford anything at all. I do not fancy sitting in the bath for the next month or so because that’s the only place I can cool down and not feel drenched in sweat. Besides, I still have to work on my computer and water and electricity don’t mix.

Apparently us and insurance companies don’t mix either. At least, I’m pretty sure if insurance companies could fire clients, we’d be on that list. The saga with the rumpus room still continues. We can’t categorically prove our problem is subsidence and they can’t categorically prove that it’s not and we are at an impasse. A tense, stressful, negative impasse. One where you leave the house to take phonecalls lest the kids hear the language you end up using. One that has our four year old saying Daddy, you have to let go of your anger. One that has you building a wall up that I can’t break down. I find out about what has been happening and where everything is up to by overhearing your conversations with other people. You will go into detail for them as you never will for me. If I ask you what is going on, if I push you for details or ask where are we up to after you have had a half hour conversation, you simply tell me there is nothing to tell. We are no further along. The status quo hasn’t changed. And its hard…

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Hopefully though, the time away and out of the house will be at least a little refreshing. This year, for the first time, we went to see your Dad for Christmas. Or rather, we saw him on Christmas and went to the Mountains for Boxing Day. Ever since we have been together, we have been with my family. I assume that this has not been as issue for you as your side of the family has never seemed attached to the day or any particular traditions but more to the idea that it’s nice to catch up over the season? After making the round trip in July / August this year though, we are now in the process of going the other way and ending at the beach. But after passing through Sydney traffic (and Pennant Hills Road  which I will never miss) and catching up with your Mum, we are now with friends for New Years which feels a little like coming home in the best possible way.

So this is a great way to end the year. Moving on from the commitments and projects that existed back in town; the Christmas Carols event at which you actually performed this year and the Babes in Arms trial that is another brainchild come to life. Setting aside the stress and tension of negotiations with the insurance company and the large ticket expenditure of the evaporative cooler. Putting away the angst and frustration of Christmas gifts because for you and I, this is still our first world problem “thing” (although I totally got you the best present ever as it was in budget and right on the money – if you lose both your phone AND your keys then you’re still up shit creek but given your propensity to only misplace one at a time, that tile is going to drastically reduce some additional stress in my life alone!). We are loved, we are loving, we are together and at midnight, we are (or were as I am totally backdating this) not entirely sober.

Happy New Yearily yours,

Your Loving Wife

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Week 209

Dear Genevieve,

It’s your birthday time of year. You know how I know this? 1. Because I am your Mama and I am totally supposed to know these things. 2. Because you mention it all the time. That and your party. Which seems to have a different theme every five minutes. When you turn 4, you are going to have a minions party. No, wait, an Angelina Ballerina party. Actually, you would like a Cinderella party. But you might like a Sophia the First party. Maybe you should have a Princess party. You could have a pirate party. Then again, maybe a Mickey Mouse party would be better?

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You couldn’t fix on one thing at all. Which for the most part was ok cause I could just smile and nod and not put any significant effort into trying to theme the party cause there wasn’t a consistent theme going. Then we had to make a call. Which became remarkably easier when we saw that the Cinderella Party paraphernalia was at least half price and then slightly more complicated when we realised that the majority of your friends are boys. Thus we came up with a Cinderella / Jake and the Neverland Pirates themed birthday, heavy on the princesses. And we bought a whole heap of stuff, most of which we probably didn’t need.

I still have dreams of creating a pintrest worthy party. Lovingly handmaking food and games for beautiful children to enjoy. I know that in reality, if I was to try such a stupid feat, I would get pissed off, leave half-finished projects lying around and end up buying a number of things anyway so we saved a little stress and less money and just went to the party supply shop. We are looking forward to the party though. Your aunt is coming and your best friend so that pretty much takes care of your happiness for the day. The rest is just sugar and sunshine. Hopefully.

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And in other news, you are definitely laying on the love with your brother these days which is both pleasing and frustrating depending on the time of day. One of the things you have started to do is sing to him when he is upset and neither your father nor I are in the room. A couple of times we have heard you sing the Doc McStuffins song to him:
Hey, what’s going on? Tell me what’s wrong.
I know there’s something we can do…
Tell me what’s wrong, what’s going on?
So choosing to ignore the fact that this may mean we let you watch too much tv, it’s really cute. It doesn’t work of course. When he is already upset, he is really not interested in you singing him a song but we think it’s quite lovely. What is not lovely is that sometimes you just can’t leave him alone. If I had a dollar for every time I have asked, pleaded, ordered and yes, yelled can you just stop grabbing your brother from behind! I know, I know. Sounds kinda bad out of context…

Sometimes we would like you to let your brother do things for himself. He is learning and we would like to afford him the same opportunity that you had, except you didn’t have any older siblings. You constantly take over for him and he will have to get used to that. You are also sometimes possessive of what is yours and if he picks up something that you are playing with (or not playing with occasionally) you will just go ahead and take it back. I can see that is going to happen a lot in the next couple of years. What is really frustrating for me to watch though is when you grab him from behind and essentially pull him over. Sometimes you are trying to cuddle him, other times move him and sometimes help him but he never seems to like it. You are constantly doing it though so we are trying to curb that behaviour.

We are also trying to curb the constant asking of the same question when you have already received an answer. And for some reason this happens both when you get the answer you don’t want and the answer you do. I can understand the playing off one parent against the other although the execution somewhat eludes you. Like when we were in the card waiting for Dad and you asked if you could listen to Playschool. I said no, not this time, we will listening to my music. Five seconds later, your dad gets into the car and you ask if you can listen to Playschool and he says sure honey. That one did not work out the way you had planned. You did not in the end get Playschool.

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At other times though, you might ask if you can have something specific for lunch when you get home. I will say yes and then shortly thereafter, you will ask your dad (or even me sometimes) the same question. Do you forget that you received the answer you wanted? Or do we seem that fickle and changeable that you fear 10 seconds is enough time for us to change our minds and rip the carpet out from under you so to speak? I know that the more times you ask me can I have something, the more I am tempted to say no. Even if I first said yes.

And then there is the thing where apparently you can only receive an answer from the one to whom the question was originally asked. Whilst we are all together, you might ask a question of your dad but I will answer in his stead. You then continue to ask your dad. Either he or I will tell you Genevieve, you already have an answer to your question but you are all no-ooo, I asked Dad in that threenager way you have that is so rolling your eyes, disgusted with dumb parents that don’t get it, hardly done by attitude. I’ll show you attitude in a minute…

And then we just go back to thinking that you are gorgeous.

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Alles Liebe,
Lexelah