You are such a poser. It cracks me up to see all the funny faces you pull when I take photos of you. Sometimes you start to pull faces because your mother has yet again stuck a camera in your face and you are a bit fed up with feeling like a show pony. However, sometimes you are just in a really goofy mood and you put on your “dancing face” so I can click away and save these moments for posterity. Or, you know, your 21st birthday. Either / or.
You certainly seem to have character in abundance and you enjoy making people laugh and smile. Especially if this is by being cheeky. You have now taken to curtseying when you are prompted to say please. You will open discussion often by saying I want [something] and after a raised eyebrow at worst or an oh really at best, you will revise your statement to a question – can I have [something]? When we point out that you still haven’t managed to appropriately display the manners that we know you possess and which we have most definitely taught you, you float your hands outwards on either side and bob demurely in a sweet curtsey and say something like please can I may have [whatever it is that you want]. Little minx.
At these points you are somewhat cute. Not so much when I am trying to get out your bedroom door at night. I tell you what baby girl, you just don’t stop talking! Its question after question after question. Usually about a range of things, none of them pertinent to bedtime or particularly significant but nonetheless prolific. I will tell you that you may say one thing before I leave you to go to sleep. I ask you to think about what you are going to say because after that, I am just going to walk out. I want you to make sure you only ask what is the most important to you so that I can escape and then, sucker that I am, I end up answering a question that begets a question that begets a question before you run out of steam or I get fed up and walk out on you talking.
And when I try to talk over you to enforce the one thing rule, I get Mama, can I just say one more thing? Because you’re not letting me say the thing that I wanted because I just wanted to say that, well…which I also find rather frustrating. You prevaricate like your father my child and fail to get to the point about as often as you make one it seems. If you were less concerned with trying to tell me off because you thought I wasn’t being fair or amenable or accommodating, you might see a little more go your way. Or maybe not. Much as I love you and give in to you an awful lot and just like to please you, sometimes, I am just gonna say no. I am supposed to be your mother not your BFF so they tell me.
In other news, your father spilled caustic soda all over the bathroom this month which was a catalyst for him buying new toothbrushes for the entire family. This was particularly notable for you because he decided to buy you a Disney princess themes toothbrush head for the electric toothbrush instead of a standard brush. Rather than go into detail about the poisonous chemicals however, we told you that your Batman and your Winnie the Pooh and your George Pig toothbrush (yes, you did have three separate toothbrushes on the go) were old and no longer doing an adequate job. An idea you latched on to like nobody’s business. At least once or twice a day for a week you would tell us all about the new toothbrush that daddy got you because we had to throw out your old toothbrushes as they were old and would not work properly. This was very important and riveting information right there.
The other thing you have latched onto this month is the live pause on the tv which you use ALL THE TIME. If you have to go to the toilet in the middle of a tv show, you press pause. If you want to find me to come and ask me something, its not before you have hit pause. If you decide you’d like to play with a toy at the same time as you watch tv and have to leave the room to retrieve it, you make sure that you hit pause first. And if we ask you to go and do something, you ask us to press pause for you! I think you should know that we did not have this when I was little Genevieve. You either watched tv or you missed it. You didn’t have a PVR that could record or not at the drop of a hat and you had to weigh up how upset you would be to miss a couple of seconds of tv vs hanging on for the next ad break and darting out to take care of business then. Besides which, its not the end of the world if you miss a minute of tv. Trust me.
Although, sadistic as I am, I do find it vaguely amusing that you have yet to comprehend that live pause only works while you stay on the same channel. When you decide to channel flick to see if there is anything better on offer, you eliminate the delay in the channel you were previously watching and can no longer return to your place in the original show. You seem to think that I should be sympathetic to your plight when this happens, and yet. First world problems, kid. First world problems.
But as much as I laugh at you sometimes (that is totally one of the perks of being a parent – I am sure mine laughed at me!) and you can be exasperating, you are a pretty cool chick and I love you big time my little pirate.