This was a really big month for us with a number of changes but I think what made the most impact on you was not what I expected. Your father and I were devastated this month when we had to say goodbye to our dog Reuben. He came into our life before you did so you have known him as a member of your family your whole life. We always assumed that when it came to saying goodbye, you would be as upset as we were. It turns out that you weren’t. At all.
Your father and I would tear up when we spoke about what was happening with you but you didn’t appear to notice. You didn’t seem otherwise concerned as though you were scared that we were clearly upset either, you just took it all in stride and were actually quite pragmatic about the whole thing. Your first question was who will be our dog now? When you thought a little more about the fact that eventually we would be getting another dog, you wanted to know if we could get a robot dog instead. You were quite excited about that idea.
If you were a little older I might have questioned whether that request stemmed from the concept that a robot dog would (in theory) never die and therefore we as a family would never have to go through that again. I don’t think that Reuben’s death really bothered you though. You just thought that a robot dog would be really cool. Although I do think that on some level, Reuben’s absence did impinge on you a little. You know, amongst the constant bed changes and car travel.
Since you father and I had no desire to hang around the house and be reminded constantly of what we were missing, we chose to take advantage of the fact that we were more untethered than we had ever been and we went on a holiday. We went to stay with some good friends. We went to stay with your Bepi and Opah. We stayed with my aunt and uncle. We are staying with your Grandad and his partner now and we will go and stay with some more friends before we make it back home. We have been out to see other people too. A friend in hospital, some cousins on both sides, and we will stop by to see some great grands on the way back south. I’m sure you feel like you have been dragged from pillar to post as you have been cranky and moody as much as you have been having fun with all these people. At the end of one of your tantrums when you finally calmed down, one of the things you told us was I miss Reuben. We do too kid. We do too.
So despite the unfortunate circumstances surrounding our vacation, it was wonderful to get away and spend time together as a family. We went to the beach. We went to playgrounds and you and your dad got to cook your “tiger bread” which made you very proud. You even went to a new playgroup up at Swansea and quite happily joined in with the other kids which was cool. I know that you can talk the hind leg off a horse and that you are crazy and silly and loud when you want to be so sometimes I forget that you can be really reserved around strangers. Either that or you just ignore them (you opted to have a bath one evening with the cousin that you had just met but you both just sat beside each other, talking and playing individually and not together). I am sometimes concerned that you might appear rude because you seem sullen when you are encouraged to play with others and are more interested in amusing yourself. I was glad to hear you were happy to join in and play that day though. Maybe those other kids just became your “me time” so far away from home…
Other than the obvious things that happened this month, you continue to amuse me with the things you say or try to say as it were. For some reason we are getting a lot of “hippee” recently. The “yip” sound of the exclamation seems to have escaped you so far as does the “hoo” in hooray. Whenever we sing the play school song, its hip hip array! And we went to see play school this month too. As it is their 50th year and you are now old enough to enjoy it, your father and I took you to a live concert. I think you enjoyed yourself. You wouldn’t get up and dance and shout out as the hoards of other children did but you did appear to have a good time. You were hungry and tired by the end though so I’m sorry about that. We were trying to cheer you up by finding out what you wanted so we could make it happen but at that point, you just didn’t have the words.
Its not as though you don’t have the vocabulary though. When you are rationalising something out, you get quite a lot of words in there. You like to tell us and yourself and anyone who will listen really exactly what is happening, how it is happening and why it is happening. You seem to feel that unless a full explanation is provided, people might be unsure of just what is going down. The reason must be clear. And in this, I think you are very much my daughter. There is an analytical mind in there no matter how left of field your father thinks you can be. And its cute. You know, up until the point that we really want you to stop talking about something and just do the something that you are talking about.