It occurred to me the other day that we do our marriage in the car. Now I know where your mind is immediately going to go with that one (get it out of the gutter) which would probably lead to well if she’s doing that in the car, she’s certainly not doing it with me or at least what on earth is she talking about but let me explain.
We don’t talk to each other at home. Not really. I mean there is a lot of did you put the chickens out, how much sleep has he had, do you know where my long pants are and what do you want for dinner? There is a passing of factual information that is immediately relevant as we manage the house and the kids and all those other practical things.
There are also the comments that are not quite a commentary on the world around us. You might share something amusing that you saw on Facebook (which you still have your nose in all the time), there could be limited dialogue on something observed in town or a remark about something shared at one of the kids events but rarely do we sit down in the house or the garden or even out on a date and really talk to one another.
This is not to say that we never talk to each other. We do. In the car. Usually on the way to or from Canberra. On those hour long stretches of time in the car where we become each other’s captive audience and perhaps even because we are beside each other and don’t have to face each other, we chat. Without screens, we converse with each other. We do talk about the kids and the house but we also talk about life and work and things. We’re not in a rush to do something else. As we pass paddocks and pastures (and the kids frequently fall asleep), there is almost something relaxing that allows us to settle into talking to each other as adults again. As a married couple. As friends.
Now I am not saying that we can’t do better here. I mean, we really do have more time now than we’ve ever had before. I know its easy to get caught up in the day to day though and we are not the only ones in this situation. Sometimes I feel like we should be trying to find more time at home to be like this. To a certain extent though, I also think we are lucky that we do get that time with each other (in a moving vehicle) and that some of our amenities are that far away. So on reflection, we could definitely be doing much worse. We could probably take each other for granted a little less (and I totally admit to being guilty here) and value our time together a little more but we could really be doing a lot worse.
I definitely know that you miss me when I’m gone. Which I was this month for a good day and a half. I really enjoy taking photos and walking around light installations such as Enlighten and Vivid. I didn’t want to miss out this year since we moved but it has always been more my thing that yours so I took a road trip with my sister and Elliot this month. It was really nice to get that hit of one-on-one time with my sister and be part of that big city again for a night. I know that it can be stressful for you when I am away but I enjoy coming home that much more when I can truly take some time for myself. So thank you.
Your Loving Wife