Day 266 (AC)

Dear Peanut,

My OB tells me that you are in the right position. Not “engaged” exactly but spine outwards and head down. Ready to come out. Unfortunately she also told me that my body wasn’t quite ready for you to make your appearance. She said she would see me next week for my scheduled appointment because she was pretty sure she was not going to see me in hospital this week. Bummer.

I think I am ready for you to come out little dude. Before you get too much bigger preferably. That’s the thing that is really concerning me at the moment. Well that and the other irrational thoughts I have concerning whether something will go really wrong or we’ll find out something after you get here that slipped under the radar and is, you know, “not good”. I have absolutely no reason to think that anything is wrong. That you will be anything other than a healthy little boy but still I am starting to get some of those “what if” moments. I suppose I should be thankful I haven’t been plagued by them the whole pregnancy, but still…

These last couple of weeks have just been hard. Physically I am finding it tough. I am definitely not sleeping well. The heat isn’t helping. As I lie there on top of the bed with the window open and a fan going I feel like my feet are on fire because that what I use to regulate my temperature. If I am able to cope with a sheet covering me, my feet are usually sticking out somewhere. Which can get kind of tricky in a king bed when you are constantly turning over and trying to get that comfortable position so you can enjoy at least an hour of uninterrupted sleep. It’s the small things. Cause I don’t quite have the same opportunity for rest as I did last time.

Your father doesn’t really get that he was working full-time when I first took mat leave from work and that at the time we had neither a young child or a dog at home. Since your father resigned so we could move to the new house, there have constantly been three other beings in the house that want my attention and it adds to the whole tiredness thing, I tell you. And then there is the fact that your father was concerned about the whole inducing early thing so I actually read up on it this time. Last time, it was strongly suggested that we induce because I was overdue. I wasn’t offered the option so much as presented with a particular solution and so I went along with the advice. That was what I was paying the doctor the big bucks for when it came down to it. Not that I would have changed things but I didn’t “know” going in that induction made things hard and fast and required constant monitoring and led more frequently to intervention being required.

I actually had a textbook induction when it came down to it of course. I didn’t require any other intervention (apart from the induction drugs themselves) and there were no real complications but this time I am slightly apprehensive. Despite the fact that I’ve been through the process before, I know I coped really well and hey, the smaller you are, the better, I’m still not sure what to expect. It could be very different this time. I am hoping for better. I am hoping for not scary, manageable and your father not feeling like he could pass out because he was paying too much attention to the business end. I’m pretty sure he’s hoping for that too cause he’s never living that story down…

So even though I initially thought I’d really like for you to be a February baby, I good whenever you are right now. I’m just waiting for my body to catch up. You seem to be moving less. Not necessarily less often but less…enthusiastically shall we say. Not sure if that’s because there is not enough room any more. I think there is not enough room in there any more. I think I’d love to lose some weight and dropping a baby, a placenta and some amniotic fluid sounds like a fine idea. How about you help me out with that?

Much love,
Mama

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