Day 259 (AC)

Dear Peanut,

37 weeks! Term! You can totally come out now! I must admit I am actually starting to get a little bit apprehensive about when and how you are going to arrive. I am expecting you to be quite big. Bigger than your sister at any rate. My delivery with her was a good experience on the whole but I’m not sure if I can expect the same with you. I have had no medical professionals freak out and suggest that I might want to consider a c-section due to your size so I guess that is a good sign. On the other hand, I was reading a couple of comments on Facebook the other night which was probably not a good idea.

Don’t read about the things that can go wrong or the things that could be issues right before you go through something. You will only freak yourself out. Or convince yourself you are dying of cancer. Everything gives you cancer nowadays. I’m sure if won’t be long before someone tries to claim that childbearing gives you cancer or, you know, something else that should be innocuous such as blinking. Anyway, don’t go to that level of “being prepared”. Being prepared is contracting a medical professional you trust to advise and arrange things for you so you don’t have to worry about all the ifs and buts and maybes. That was the plan last time and it worked swimmingly. I’m crossing my fingers and toes that it works the same this time around. I’d cross other parts of my body too but I swear that you feel so huge that its really uncomfortable to do so.

Apparently you are not engaged yet so you’re not showing any inclination to come and meet the family. However, you do feel like you’re pushing down at times and I sort of hobble to the bathroom when I get up to pee at night. It sure makes your dad and I look a pair at times. He has had issues with his back so he occasionally waddles around groaning in discomfort and I shuffle along behind with my distended belly. It is really a workout taking you anywhere. My heart rate jumps up merely because I turn over in bed! Which I do like every ten minutes it feels like because otherwise I get all twitchy and uncomfortable. Sleeping is really bad at the moment.

We have had hot weather this week which has not helped at all. Your dad lies beside me under a sheet, cell blanket and doona while I lie on top of all the bedclothes with a fan going. Preferably with my feet in direct airflow because they tend to feel hotter than the rest of me. I toss and turn all night, rearranging the belly for maximum comfort each time I try and settle. I am hanging for the day when I can roll over onto my stomach again and bring my knees up to my chest. It’s the little things in life. Also being able to curl up on my side without feeling like I must have a weight bearing down on my chest would be good. Its not necessarily a shortness of breath I feel at the moment but neither is it comfortable. And then theres the scratching…

Its not like last time when I would wake up in the middle of the night wanting to take a layer of skin off with my fingernails because my stretched stomach was so damned itchy. Nor do I have a repeat of the skin irritation I found it incredibly difficult to get rid of which had me try to peel off my shins or the area behind my knees. No. This time around, I get those little itches that just want a slight scratch but my skin as a whole is sensitive to level that I feel like I have just given myself a bruise whenever I satisfy the compulsion. So then I hurt all over again for a different reason. It’s a pain I tell you.

Hope you’re faring better on the inside.

Much love,
Mama

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