I am trying my darndest but I have to say that I’m really struggling not to say to you “I don’t care”. Not I don’t care about you, because I do, very very much. And not that I don’t care about who you are because that is important to me too but when I want you to put your shoes on or eat your breakfast or do something and you give me plaintive excuses why this is not possible for you, continually, the main response that springs to mind is a frustrated I don’t care! I don’t care that you want to keep drawing or that you want a bath instead of a shower (at 9 o’clock at night) or that you want to wear thongs instead of proper shoes… I care that you are ignoring my wishes and being obstinate, headstrong and generally all round and unfortunately willful. And I also care that, perverse little munchkin that you are, you copy what you hear and parrot it back to me at inconvenient moments. So I am trying not to deal with such disquieting situations by exclaiming forcefully that I don’t care. Sometimes I am more successful than others.
I have also discovered that sometimes we are more successful at heading certain behaviour off at the pass than at others as well. Like earlier this month when we put you to bed, just like normal. We waited until you had fallen asleep and then we came out to watch some tv. It seems that whatever we were watching was a little loud however because you came out about an hour later and said “there something noisy and it wake me up”. The thing was though that you came out fully dressed. You woke up and changed out of your pajamas into jeans, a top, a vest and even socks. It was actually kind of cute and funny at the time. We were highly amused that you had gone to the trouble of getting completely dressed bar some shoes on your feet before you came out to check out the sound. However, it was not so cute and amusing the 2nd and even 3rd time that it happened this month.
We are also not amused that we seem to have gotten ourselves to a place where the first thing you ask for each day is screen time. You will come into our bed in the mornings and fall back asleep but when you wake up, one of the first things out of your mouth is can I watch some tv. We only have ourselves to blame of course and we have obviously been doing something wrong that you seem to think that this is a right. We are therefore trying to cut back as a matter of habit and find specific time in the day that is screen free. Which is really a sign of the times isn’t it? When I was growing up, I watched a LOT of tv. So much so that Grumps cut the plugs off our tv sets at one point (Gigi made him put them right back on though). When I was banned though, it was “no tv”. Now, I have to be more specific ie. no screens. You are not allowed to watch the tv, the tablet, the smart phones or the computer. And this development (either too much screen time or not enough in your opinion) may or may not be why we are getting more tantrums.
In the last month we have been experiencing more tantrums and meltdowns than we have in a while. You have taken to screaming at us in frustration when you don’t get your way. Not yelling but screaming. Continuously. At the top of your lungs. Maybe with some kicking and vigorous head shaking as well. You are kind of beyond speech at this point usually although when we have deposited you in your bed and closed the door to see if we could dampen the noise, we have received a vehement Not Shut The Door!! You will accept at some level being told off and given the consequence of cooling off in your room but you hate being shut off or perhaps shut away from us. I don’t have a problem with this. Since you seem to hate it so much, as in it actually seems to distress you, we stopped closing your door. The tantrums are not cool though. You are going to have to find a better way of dealing with your emotions but these things take time to learn I guess. In the meantime, we’re probably bad parents because some of the tantrums are kind of funny and we have both laughed at them and laughed them off…
As much as we laugh at you occasionally, we do laugh with you a whole lot more. Its fun to see you really excited and happy and especially when you do your “lewdy lewdy” dancing. Its become a bit of a routine for you to have a boogie after you have finished either your bath or shower for the evening. You like to do a bit of butt naked dancing during which time we refer to you as a rudie nudie. However, those words are apparently something you haven’t quite been able to get your tongue around and you refer to the activity as lewdy lewdy dancing and sometimes, as innocent as you still are, that description is not exactly entirely inaccurate. Its almost fitting. Which we also think is kind of funny.