Day 182 (AC)

Dear Peanut,

I’m feeling really big at the moment. Which is to be expected I guess but its also a little unnerving as I still have three months to go and already I am considering that I don’t have enough space to put you. Whenever I sit down at my desk I feel like my belly is just sitting smooshed up against my lap and as you still like to periodically kick me, this can get quite uncomfortable.

Sleeping is also getting more uncomfortable. This is not entirely your fault, or perhaps I should say due to you. Your dad has been really unsettled for last couple of nights and your sister, well she sometimes likes to visit me at 3am and then again at 6am. And I try to get as much sleep as I can in the middle as I hoik my belly over to lie facing one side and then the other in search of the ultimate comfortable spot.

I know that this really is going to get all that much better and the platitude is that its conditioning me for when I will be up several times a night feeding you but I am still desperately trying to cling to those full nights of sleep or at least the pretence of them. Getting those last remnants can be the difference between an extremely cranky mother bear and one who has the capacity to play mediator and kiss boo boos better. I wish I could say I am and will always be a patient mother but unfortunately for you kid, sometimes I am so not in the mood.

Will I always love you unconditionally? Yes. Will I always like you…? Well now this is one of those things that no one is supposed to admit to – probably not. I’m definitely getting to the end of that positive 2nd trimester. During the first, I remember thinking that this pregnancy better stick because I really didn’t want to have to go through it again. Then over the last couple of weeks I have had that small wonder – could I go a 3rd? This is all not so bad and babies are cute. I am now coming back around to good thing I was never planning on my family looking like the Brady Bunch!

Anyway, you caught me at a tired moment today but I might try and sneak in a nap tomorrow (even though your Granddad will be here) and then I will no doubt be much more positive.

Much love,
Mama

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