Day 91 (AC)

Dear Peanut,

They think you are a boy! I know. Shocked the hell out of me too. I mean it wasn’t out of the realms of possibility of course. But I still kinda thought timing-wise and given I had already had a girl etc that maybe you were another one. And you still might be. Its not definitive like it was with Genibean. But I had the Nuchal test and it was fine and the doctor thinks you are a boy…

So I’m really happy now. Not specifically about the sex thing. I will be happy regardless of whether you are a girl peanut or a boy peanut. I am just happy that the nuchal is over and that it went well. I didn’t know how worried I was about it until it was over. I knew of course that even if the results weren’t totally favourable, it didn’t mean something terrible. Your sister’s nuchal scared the pants off me and she was perfectly fine but I was still shoring myself up in case the same thing happened again. But it didn’t. 1:4000+ is a good number. Not I’m 18-years-old and I am so fit for child-bearing its not funny but I am…ahem…over 35. And that number was so much nicer to hear than 1:16.

It does mean that I have to wait for longer before I can find out your sex. I mean, the doctor has obviously guessed now and its more likely that he has guessed correctly than not (not to mention that I am now getting comments like that explains the reflux!) but there is still a margin of error there. Which means I shouldn’t pass on the pink stuff just yet.

And yeah, that gas that keeps on making me feel uncomfortable, that has a name. I totally didn’t know it was reflux. I’ve never had it before really so haven’t had a need to describe the feeling. Its killing me now though. Not literally obviously. Its only really causing discomfort…and irritation. Its very annoying as well. Just thought you’d like to know.

Much love,
Mama

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Month Seventy-Two

HubbyJul2015

Dear Husband,

I’m really tired. I’m pregnant and I’m moody and with everything going on, I never got to sit down and write about July in July. So yet again I am cheating by writing this after July and backdating it. Which also means that I am so far removed that I can’t really remember most of July. There were thirty-one days in it but I’m really not sure right now what we did on most of them. One thing I do remember however, and which I am sure I will remember for a while, is the trip we had to an ultrasound. The ultrasound that I had been anxiously awaiting because this was the point last time at which a funky result got thrown up that scared the bejeezus out of us. Despite the fact that everything turned out fine and that whole situation was a bit of a non-event, it was a milestone in my head and something that had been on my mind for weeks.

So there we were, waiting to go for the nuchal at 13 weeks to see if everything was ok. The car was going in for a service that morning but it was to be ready in time for us to pick up and make our way up to Norwest. I turned up at the mechanics on time with Genevieve in tow and you walked up from work. The car took a little longer. I was starting to get anxious that we would make the appointment on time and you started getting antsy too. I think we were both trying not to get outwardly harried whilst inside going hurry, hurry, hurry. We called the ultrasound place and told them that we were going to be a little bit late and thankfully they were ok with that.

Finally, the car was ready and so we all piled in to take off for the appointment. We didn’t really get very far. A couple of hundred metres up the main road was all we managed. It was at this point that you wanted to slow the car down on the approach to the traffic light, the car didn’t want to slow down at all and I was really thankful that I wasn’t driving! The car just kept on accelerating. Understandably this was also something that had the capacity to freak the crap out of us. I can’t remember if you managed to slow the car down before turning it off or whether you just turned it off to stop it but fortunately neither the car or its passengers were any the worse for wear. Well maybe our hearts were beating a little fast at that point.

So you made a restrained call to the mechanics in your heightened emotional state to say help, there is something wrong with the car and not get here now, what the bloody hell did you do to our car. I know you think they are really decent blokes who would never have released the car if they thought there could be an issue and you didn’t want the scare for you sound like an attack to them. I think I just sounded desperate when I called the ultrasound place to see what the options were. I really didn’t want to put this appointment off. Therefore, the mechanics sent out a couple of guys, one to check out the vehicle and another to drive me to the appointment. The doctor at the ultrasound place took pity on me and offered to stay back late to accommodate us. You and Genevieve and her car seat got a lift to meet me at the appointment and after we were done, the mechanics drove up to meet us with our (fixed) car. It was an eventful day.

And the ultrasound was all clear which was a weight off my mind and slightly surprising as I think I was pretty sure we were going to have a girl. Its not confirmed of course because there is a pretty big margin of error at this stage and they can by no means make an accurate assessment as to the sex of an unborn child but apparently, we are having a boy. Congratulations dad!

HubbyJul2015-2

Pregnantly yours,
Your Loving Wife

Day 84 (AC)

Dear Peanut,

Dude, you give me gas. Like all the time now. I’ve never had to burp so much. Mostly I’m trying to make myself burp to relieve some of the pressure as I have that uneasy feeling that sits just at the base of my sternum and is enough that I constantly know that its there. Its better when I am lying down but sadly, I cannot go through my day in bed. Work does not allow it. Neither does your sister. She seems to like my company up and entertaining her whenever she is awake and accessible.

So I continue about my business, stomach expanding gradually, wardrobe options feeling fewer and fewer and hoping for that second trimester that is an upturn in the feeling of general well-being and all round togetherness. Hopefully where I can also start to remember a few things. Your father seems to think I am getting more forgetful as the pregnancy progresses. I am not totally convinced that this is forgetfulness as opposed to a reduction in the general giving of a toss but regardless, when it appears that I have forgotten stuff, it is clearly my job to remember and not his to pick up the slack so I have to pull my socks up. Which involves bending over…and which will get a lot worse, I know, and hey, I can still easily see my toes at the moment but clearly, I am rambling. I should probably just stop that.

Much love,
Mama

Day 77 (AC)

Dear Peanut,

On the plus side, this week, the tiredness is lessening and leaving me with a bit more energy and get up and go. Of course, I am also feeling pathetically unfit as I can no longer trip up the stairs at the train station without huffing and puffing, but I am no longer falling off my perch as the sun goes down. Actually, it was never that bad but I do still function at 9pm now. Baby steps, right?

And baby increments to my tummy. As in I am frequently now TTT as my Nanna would say. After a full meal she would often pronounce herself to be TTT or tummy touching table. I feel like that most of the time though. I sit down at my desk at work and there you are or if I go out somewhere to eat (our house is a mess and to be honest, we haven’t seen the top of the dining table for months so we eat in front of the TV), I notice there is little to no gap between you and whatever table I have tried to pull myself up to.

You are by no means huge yet of course. And I’m not opening doors into you or bumping you against surfaces because I have apparently forgotten I am in fact larger front to back than I am side to side. I’m sure we’ll get to that though. Sorry in advance.

Much love,
Mama

Day 70 (AC)

Dear Peanut,

This week I have been meh. Just meh. Not good, not bad, not 100% on top of my game either. Although I’m not sure that that is going to happen to me again for about the next 18 years. Anyway, the hunger thing is better this week. I still get quite hungry but it is a more gradual thing and I can also work through it which is handy because I can get caught up with stuff at work and lunch can start from anywhere between noon and about two in the afternoon. I can also not stop for morning tea before lunch which exacerbates the issue but is no longer the end of the world as we know it until I eat something.

I kind of wish I was one of those women who are always glowing and who just love the whole pregnancy experience but I’m really not. I know that so many women do it a hundred times tougher than I do but right now, I am not basking in the glory of creating a new life. Right now, I’m just meh. Deal with it.

Much love,
Mama

Week 135

JuneAlbum-2

Dear Genevieve,

Your latest best favourite thing in the whole wide world is apparently Peppa Pig. You LOVE Peppa Pig. It is definitely the currency in our house at present. If you’re being naughty – you’ll get no Peppa Pig tonight. If you’re going to slowly – if you finish that quickly then we might be able to let you watch a Peppa Pig. If you don’t like something and you’re being stroppy – I’m sure Peppa Pig wouldn’t be like that.

Well, to be perfectly honest, Peppa probably would act all bossy and stroppy and cheeky but we’re parents. Sometimes we will use whatever means necessary to manipulate you into doing exactly what we want. You know, right now, so we can pay for it later once we’ve taught you that lifestyle can be totally bargained to your advantage…

JuneAlbum-3

Anyway, you are quite the little madam when it comes to your rights and Peppa. Let no man stand in your way! As you are aware that this is a bargaining tool between us, you frequently make sure that you don’t start on the back foot by announcing up front that “I get one Peppa. Yes?”. When you get home in the afternoon or wake up after a nap or really, just whenever you feel like it, you like to get it out of the way that you are of course entitled to watch one episode of Peppa Pig. Which would not seem terribly unreasonable to a number of parents. The show is after all only about 5 minutes in length. The problem is that you know what one is but don’t see why there could possibly be a problem with one more and one more and one more and one more. When we do decide that enough is enough, either after one or after one plus one etc, we usually get a meltdown on our hands.

Although your father and I have slightly differing opinions on what is reasonable and unreasonable as far as giving in to your demands. We had to leave a birthday party this month and you were none too pleased at being dragged away from your friend. After we had been trying to get away for a little while, your dad negotiated with you that you could all watch one Peppa Pig together and then you had to come with us to go home. You agreed to this, you all watched Peppa and then we left. I was slightly frustrated that we just gave it and let you watch an episode of Peppa to placate you. Your dad felt that we had put you in control of the situation and allowed you to feel compensated. And to be fair, you did leave with us willingly. Even if you were in tears.

JuneAlbum

You’re not so good at being sad and tired. However, you do seem to have quite a radar for those around you. You pick up cues, especially with music on tv and note if the (real or pretend) people around you are sad. We will often be watching something of an evening and you will suddenly pipe up he’s sad with a very knowing nod of your head. You will say the same thing when you’re not even watching the tv, you are just listening to the speech and then the mood music. Its interesting to watch and to know that you are still clued in to the world around you even when we might think that you are paying no attention. Or maybe we are just more desensitised to everything that you are right now. I hope you keep that awareness though. It’s a good thing to have.

What is not so good is splitting your head open on a car tow hitch in an auto showroom. You and your dad went out to do something and ended up looking at a car after which you ended up at the doctors surgery getting your head glued together. It was deemed more potentially traumatising to try and give you stitches so they just glued the wound shut and told us you were not to get it for a while. It gave you quite a headache for a while and it became known as your “ouch”. Poor girl. You do get in the wars sometimes…

JuneAlbum-4

We will always try to be there to comfort you though. So you have us…and you have baby…You have never been a security blanket kind of kid. You never took to the dummy, never sucked you thumb, never needed the presence of something to sleep at night or to function in the day. Sometime when I wasn’t looking though, you did grow more attached to baby. The small doll we bought you for $1 at a market to amuse you since we didn’t have anything better with us. The toy that has been put through a centrifugal force spinner which caused her head to concave in on itself (we never let you see that thankfully) after you dropped her in a pool which stopped her eyes from closing properly. The “baby” that has been naked almost since we got her because apparently you are more into undressing dolls than dressing them. The loved companion that is now taken in the car with you to Kindy and played with at home and placed with you in bed each night. You don’t go into conniptions if we’re not sure where she is but you do like her there.

And then there is Frozen. And Let it go. The latest Disney movie and hit song to take pop culture by storm. You know all about Elsa and Anna. You notice them in toy store windows, in catalogues and on merchandise we see on the street. You announce “its Frozen” at the top of your lungs whenever you see something to make sure that we don’t miss it and I’m sure you’d be decked out in head to toe Frozen gear if I would buy any of it for you, which I won’t. You also like to sing the song whever you happen to think about it. Of course, the only words that you can actually remember are “Let it go” so this means you will just wander about the house going let it go, let it go let it go, let it go…Its hilarious, you don’t always have the attention span for a half hour show but by God, you can sit through all of Frozen. Which we’re not allowed to turn off until your favourite song has finished playing in the credits! You crack me up little one. When you’re not annoying me by singing let it go, let it go let it go, let it go…You know what your dad probably wants to say to that? Let it go Genevieve!

Alles Liebe,
Lexelah

Day 63 (AC)

Dear Peanut,

In case you were wondering, I’m still sick. Your dad is very irritated with me because my coughing is keeping him awake at nights and making him even more stressed than he currently is. Sometimes I feel like he’s a little highly strung. The same has been said of me at times though. Probably by your father because I think the other side of my pregnancy hormones are not always being that nice to him. On one side of things, I completely surrender my body to whatever happens because I’ve been here before and I know I have absolutely no control over it. Winging it and whatever are what goes. Anything else that I might think I can control though? Apparently I’m a trifle more witchy and moody than I was before I got pregnant. And that whole brain-mouth filter that usually operates is slowly disintegrating and / or otherwise disappearing so I might be coming off a little more…let’s just say not very nice.

But in other news, I totally pooched! My belly button has popped out some time when I wasn’t looking and I’ve had to go hunting my maternity pants out because they are way more comfortable than the rest of my pants right now. Which is partly due to the fact that this is the second time around I have been this pregnant and I’m still eating like a horse. Should really watch that or there will be so much more to lose at the other end…

Much love,
Mama