Month Seventy

Dear Husband,

In lieu of a monthly update that encompasses the last 30 odd days in general, lots of travel, considering more houses that weren’t quite right, I thought I would share something specific. Which, in a way, was a factor that was present throughout the month but also prompted me at one precise part of this month to go AARRGHH…because sometimes you can be the most infuriating man. One that prompts me to ask:

Do I have a pathological fear of doing all of the dirty dishes that have been strewn around our house (of if you are really lucky – are actually in the sink)? Am I incapable of completing the task of washing up in its entirety? Do I always seek to leave at least a couple of dirty things lying about? Why yes! You are correct.

Despite the fact that I have recently spent an entire day cleaning and tidying our house, at which point I believe there was no washing up left to be done, I have resolved to go back to leaving things here and there. That thorough clean really went against the grain and I usually make sure there are at least some dirty objects left lying around so it still feels like home. I break out in hives when I complete a job and have nothing left to do and I like to make sure there is always some washing up there so I can have a calming and restful pastime available whenever I feel the need.

It is in fact for health reasons that I always identify going in which items I shall leave because the pleasure of a completely clean anything is something that I simply cannot fathom. I am so unfamiliar with the phenomenon after all. The fact that I often leave some big difficult items has nothing to do with the fact that after doing two loads in a single, dinky sink that is at a particularly unergonomical position for my height either in or out of shoes (and during which I have had to break and do drying up so more wet dishes will fit) leaves me somewhat sore and disinclined to repeat the process of drying up and doing yet more washing.

I mean after washing and wiping up a load of crockery and cutlery, items which are somewhat easy to dry for their lack of tiny crevices, why wouldn’t I want to spend twice as long wiping up all the containers with their lips and seals that seem to act as a magnet for water, all the sippy cups with their straws and connections and mouth pieces, and those pans that never seem to get completely free of grease and oil no matter how much detergent you use? This can add to my clothes washing duties as the tea towels are always past it by then. Any amount of pride that I might profess to have about my house should dictate that I not rest until I have completed a job well done, yes?

Dishwashers are for sissies so it’s a damn good thing we don’t have one, right? And the fact that I have previously asked for help with the washing up and not really received it (although I should state here, we did eventually resolve you found it difficult to respond to a general request and required me to ask you on every occasion that I actually wanted you to assist me) should really not interfere with my ability to do a proper job by myself. Having hardly any bench space on which to spread items out so they will in fact dry and not become their own moist bubble to prevent me from putting them away without first drying each individual item is really no excuse for putting in what you seem to feel is a half-arsed effort.


So do I always need to leave a couple of items of washing up? Let me think about that….No….

Will I stop such behaviour in future? Let me think about that for less than a second. No.

Pedantically yours,
Your Loving Wife

P.S. I put in lots of pictures from your birthday which started with cupcakes and was followed by the zoo and Bannerman 42. That was a good day.


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