Month Seventy

Dear Husband,

In lieu of a monthly update that encompasses the last 30 odd days in general, lots of travel, considering more houses that weren’t quite right, I thought I would share something specific. Which, in a way, was a factor that was present throughout the month but also prompted me at one precise part of this month to go AARRGHH…because sometimes you can be the most infuriating man. One that prompts me to ask:

Do I have a pathological fear of doing all of the dirty dishes that have been strewn around our house (of if you are really lucky – are actually in the sink)? Am I incapable of completing the task of washing up in its entirety? Do I always seek to leave at least a couple of dirty things lying about? Why yes! You are correct.

Despite the fact that I have recently spent an entire day cleaning and tidying our house, at which point I believe there was no washing up left to be done, I have resolved to go back to leaving things here and there. That thorough clean really went against the grain and I usually make sure there are at least some dirty objects left lying around so it still feels like home. I break out in hives when I complete a job and have nothing left to do and I like to make sure there is always some washing up there so I can have a calming and restful pastime available whenever I feel the need.

It is in fact for health reasons that I always identify going in which items I shall leave because the pleasure of a completely clean anything is something that I simply cannot fathom. I am so unfamiliar with the phenomenon after all. The fact that I often leave some big difficult items has nothing to do with the fact that after doing two loads in a single, dinky sink that is at a particularly unergonomical position for my height either in or out of shoes (and during which I have had to break and do drying up so more wet dishes will fit) leaves me somewhat sore and disinclined to repeat the process of drying up and doing yet more washing.

I mean after washing and wiping up a load of crockery and cutlery, items which are somewhat easy to dry for their lack of tiny crevices, why wouldn’t I want to spend twice as long wiping up all the containers with their lips and seals that seem to act as a magnet for water, all the sippy cups with their straws and connections and mouth pieces, and those pans that never seem to get completely free of grease and oil no matter how much detergent you use? This can add to my clothes washing duties as the tea towels are always past it by then. Any amount of pride that I might profess to have about my house should dictate that I not rest until I have completed a job well done, yes?

Dishwashers are for sissies so it’s a damn good thing we don’t have one, right? And the fact that I have previously asked for help with the washing up and not really received it (although I should state here, we did eventually resolve you found it difficult to respond to a general request and required me to ask you on every occasion that I actually wanted you to assist me) should really not interfere with my ability to do a proper job by myself. Having hardly any bench space on which to spread items out so they will in fact dry and not become their own moist bubble to prevent me from putting them away without first drying each individual item is really no excuse for putting in what you seem to feel is a half-arsed effort.


So do I always need to leave a couple of items of washing up? Let me think about that….No….

Will I stop such behaviour in future? Let me think about that for less than a second. No.

Pedantically yours,
Your Loving Wife

P.S. I put in lots of pictures from your birthday which started with cupcakes and was followed by the zoo and Bannerman 42. That was a good day.


Week 130


Dear Genevieve,

It appears you have graduated from Vegie Tales in the car and no longer wish to hear the “clapping song” ad nauseum. No, instead you want Play School. Preferably on your dad’s phone because he somehow managed to scam Spotify with no ad breaks. You have some favourites such as the princess story but in general, as long as we’ve got Play School on the stereo, we’re good. As I understand it, you and your dad frequently sing out loud to the songs that your father and I actually grew up with on your way to and from Kindy. And I must admit that I am totally cool with this. It would be nice if we could have a little more variety with a little less whinging but at least I’m not listening to High-5 or Brittney Spears or a completely bastardised version of an otherwise decent song.


Otherwise this month you have been your chatterbox and cheeky self. Pushing the boundaries here and there to see what you can get away with. Unfortunately passing on breakfast is not one of those things. I must admit, I did meet you halfway one day. You LOVE watching tv but you eat slower than an arthritic sloth when you are staring at the idiot box so we have had to stop letting you watch on the Kindy mornings as you eat breakfast. On one morning however, instead of making you sit down to cereal, I told you that I would be satisfied if you ate at least half a banana and I showed you the point that I wanted you to reach. You then took the banana and bit into it, right in the middle where I had pointed and went to give it back to me. As far as you were concerned, duty done! Little toad. Sorry kid, no dice. I meant eat half a banana not make a little mouse nibble at half of the banana.


But its not always me that tells you to do things, sometimes you tell us too. Your latest concern is loud noises so its not uncommon for us to hear keep your ears safe! Not quite sure why you put that language together to ask us to block our ears but it does make perfect sense. Even if its occasionally a little over the top as its shouted at us at a higher decibel level than that from which we are supposed to be protecting ourselves.


What else? What else? Oh yeah, the fact that you love to chat to us and keep the conversation going by asking us what else?! There always has to be something. Whenever we have a short answer for you, you seem convinced that we are holding out. We’re parents right? We withhold information on a daily basis so there must be something else. There always is. Or maybe you ask what we doing? You constantly want to know what’s going on around you. I actually suspect that this is not completely about what is happening in your vicinity and partly about controlling the conversation. I just wish you’d pay a little more attention to the answers.

And then you have this delightful turn of phrase that you have obviously mimicked from us whenever you suggest something. How ow bout…we do dis?? How ow bout…its like a placeholder that says you’re about to impart something important, we just need to let you formulate the rest of your idea for a moment. It makes you sound very grown up and completely reasonable which of course, you are not. You are sometimes the opposite! But we still wouldn’t trade you for anything. Especially when you dance around like a fairy in bumblebee gumboots, a dance leotard, a leaf skirt and some wings!


Alles Liebe,

Week 126


Dear Genevieve,

This month was a litany of wot dat sound? wot dat sound? As your vocabulary expands and you grow more curious about the world around you, you are constantly asking me this question. The answer might be a vehicle in the street or an aircraft in the sky. Sometimes it is just someone else watching television in another room but you constantly want to know things. Or you want to make things happen. Like your parents getting out of bed.


Now that you’re in a big girl bed and you can get out yourself when you wake, you frequently come into our room and snuggle with us for a little while. Not for too long though. You get bored. And then you get up and play with the curtains. It is then at this time that you announce loudly and plaintively – is light on outside, get up! There doesn’t seem to be a real grasp of morning or daytime yet, just whether there is a light on or not. And when there is a “light on” outside, well that means you should not be in bed! Even if we’re really tired. Like after spending the night on your floor.

You had a delightful couple of nights this month where you did not want to sleep through. Not even slightly. Not that you always sleep through anyway but sometimes you wake once, I sit with you for 5-10 minutes and drop straight back to sleep. Not these nights though. Every hour to hour and a half and you would wake up and take ages to drift back off again. It got to the point that it wasn’t really worth my while going back to my own bed and settling in so I just pulled an extra cot mattress out on the floor and curled up.


When I am in the middle of those periods, it always feels like they just keep going on…forever. Really though, it was a short-lived period and then whatever was unsettling you ceased to be an issue and we just moved on like it never happened. You’re good at going on like something never even happened. You never had absolutely terrible nights. You never did a rude thing. You never just tried to bamboozle your way into something…


Your cheeky side has been coming out a lot recently. When you want something you have decided that the best way to achieve your ultimate goal is not necessarily to ask. You don’t just take though. You tell. Or you announce I will have (insert whatever it is that you desire here), that sound good?? You say this in such a perky tone of voice, you encourage us to just jump on the bandwagon and agree enthusiastically. Almost as if it was our idea in the first place. Except we’re not idiots. We know exactly what you’re doing. And it’s very cute. Which is why we let you get away with it occasionally. So maybe we really are being suckered in…


Sometimes you really are just so very cute though. Like when we were hanging out together in a playground while your dad had a sort of job interview. You were on and off the swings and then you were in and out of the cubby house and finally you asked for my phone. You needed to call someone. You tend not to actually like speaking on the phone with people. You just kind of stare and smile when we put your grandparents on speakerphone but you are more than happy to pretend. Which you did on this occasion. And it was quite a conversation. Since your dad had shut his finger in the car door a couple of days previously, you decided: “I have to call the doctor…Hello doctor. Daddy’s finger is very hurting today. It broken. He need the doctor. Yes. I’ll see you soon”. Bless your cotton socks. Well, despite the fact that I really wanted to get you to agree to come inside with me because I was cold even though you were apparently more than happy where you were. You are lovely when you think of others. I hope you never lose your compassion.


Alles Liebe,