Month Fifty-Seven


Dear Husband,

You started out this month with a bang. Or a crash as it were. I know that you are not particularly enamoured of the company that chose to rap you over the knuckles for taking leave to look after your sick daughter once she was out of hospital but if you didn’t feel like going to work, there are better ways to do it than getting hit by a car. Which turned into a drama in and of itself.

I mean initially, it was not a good thing to happen. Getting hit by a car is never a good thing. I didn’t actually get worried when you weren’t home at the time I expected though. I knew you had ridden your bike but it wouldn’t be completely unlike you to get caught in a conversation or to stop somewhere on the way home without a heads up. However, I was starting to get curious and then I got your text: “In * hospital. Long story. Am ok. Have dinner without me. Will make my way home when I have the all clear. You can come down if you want…”.

So, ok. Several things; good text in general (obviously trying not to worry me) but not enough information (I want details), it was not good when I couldn’t get in touch with you directly after this and what the hell, you’re in hospital!? And it wasn’t a whole lot better when I got to the hospital either. The nurse behind the desk was apologetic but she wasn’t going to let me in immediately and she wasn’t going to tell me what had happened either. So the Genibean and I got to hang out in emergency which is always fun. At least it was too early for all the addicts and overdoses to show up.

I’m glad that it wasn’t a terrible accident. Some aches, pains, bruises and sprains seemed to be about the worst of it. At least physically. Emotionally it took another couple of days to hit you (pun not intended) and then you had a couple of bad nights, even for you. You didn’t seem to really want to talk about it either. You seemed to think I wouldn’t understand and whilst, I must admit, I have never been hit by a car, I did total one once and that affected me for quite a while. I know what it’s like to go looking for the next accident when it isn’t really there. At the first sudden change in front of you, your body braces for impending doom before your head can say its cool, we’ve got brakes too.

I’m also sorry that the whole thing seemed to linger as you followed up with the police who wanted you to say that there were no repercussions (such as physio) at all and the refusal of the workers comp claim that saw you charged for some of the advantages you were previously advised would be offered freely. I know that trust is important for you in all your relationships and when that doesn’t exist, it’s really hard on you. I’m really hoping things can turn around soon and you can find somewhere to settle.

But things weren’t all bad this month. For starters, you got to go to the TedX conference in Sydney. For months and months you have been looking up talks online. You have mentioned on more than one occasion wanting to be a part of something like that as you have always been the dreamer between the two of us. I am the analytical one that likes to look at the logistics and the consequences (or the poo-poo-er as I end up being on most occasions) and you are the one who sees endless possibilities. And I think you really enjoyed yourself. You met some interesting people and you seemed to close in a little on a couple of the skills you want to exercise in the work you undertake.

There was also a positive on the home front as well. At least as far as I see it. I know you have previously struggled (and still do to some extent) with the idea of whether or not you are a good father. I think this is total and utter bollocks of course because I believe you are straight out a fantastic dad. You have a terrific relationship with your daughter as can be seen by her evident happiness, compassion and comfort in coming directly to you as much as she does to me. However, you still second guess yourself (probably more frequently than you actually let on to me).

You have recently been on the receiving end though of a number of comments that suggest she is more capable, advanced or developed than perhaps an average child of her age (or perhaps just some of the children within her acquaintance). People have remarked on the fact that she sat in your lap happily to have a hair cut and that she responds when you ask her to put away toys at kindy. Some are surprised at her grasp of language for her age or just give you the idea that she is a pretty cool kid and we have an easier time of it than others. For the most part, you tend to believe in the idea that there is no such thing as bad children, just bad parenting. So after being presented with the idea that you have a cool daughter, you are starting to accept that you may not be doing such a bad job of her upbringing.

On the not so positive side of the home front, I did upset the apple cart somewhat by getting severe viral conjunctivitis. My left eye almost became swollen shut and I looked a little like Quasimodo. I ended up being referred to an ophthalmologist and I was on two sets of eye drops and tablets to boot. This inconvenienced me more than it did you but then I got the associated throat infection/cold that went along with it which meant I was slightly out of action for a bit. This unfortunately never goes down well. Hopefully this is the end of the run of bad health we seem to be experiencing!

Questionally healthily yours,

Your Loving Wife

* Photo is pretty self explanatory – it was a poor April Fools though!


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