Your Turn


Dear Husband,

You made me really cranky this morning. At about 3am. Now I think that I am normally quite a reasonable person. At least in terms of what I expect from you. I mean sure, I’d like a lot of things (wouldn’t we all) but I don’t necessarily expect you to jump through hoops on a constant basis. What I do expect is a little bit of give and take. And some consideration. Which is why at 3am when you offered the dog the option of getting on the bed,  all I wanted to do was kick you off the bed.

Ever since Genevieve was born she has woken up, often more than once, for night feeds. In comparison, the dog who hardly ever wakes up before 5am (and even that is early for him) only needs attention in the wee small hours once in a blue moon. So whilst I get up tired and only semi-conscious night after night in the cold for an indeterminate period of time, you almost always stay snuggled in bed and fast asleep. Which is why when the dog eventually does need something (like being let outside) at stupid o’clock in the morning, I figure it’s YOUR TURN!

But did you take pity on your poor wife this morning and do the gentlemanly thing? Did you even get up to see to the dog when she shook you awake and asked you to to see to the dog? No. You decided you couldn’t be arsed getting out of bed and invited him to hop onto the bed instead in the hope that it would keep him quiet. Which horrified me for several reasons:

A) I couldn’t believe you were such a lazy git!

B) If he was scratching at the door because he wanted to go outside, he probably needed to go outside (and I wasn’t prepared to clean up any reason that he should have gone outside).

C) 3am sets a horrible president (because it’s bad enough he thinks that he has the right to get on the bed before we wake as it is).

And lastly,

D) When the 50kg dog gets on the bed, he doesn’t sleep at your feet – he sleeps curled up snug against my bum as I lay on my side so I can’t move!

So I was not a happy camper at 3am this morning. I was awake enough however to nip your premature offer in the bud. Then I made you get out of bed like you should have done in the first place. You are just lucky that I let you back into the bed.

Lovingly yours,

Your Loving Wife

* Photo taken at this year’s Sculptures By The Sea


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