Who Needs Sleep?


Dear Husband,

Last night you came stamping down the hall to confront me after you had been unsuccessful at getting our daughter to sleep in under ten minutes. You said “you don’t ever MAKE her go to sleep when it’s just you and her in the day do you??”.

So, ok. Several things here. For starters, what do you mean by “make”? Do I order her to go to sleep and she meekly acquiesces? No. Do I use a choke hold on her or that shoulder pinch thing that renders people unconscious? No (although it might be handy if the shoulder thing were an option sometimes). Do I dope myself up with booze or phenergan so that it will pass through to the Genibean in my breast milk and make her pass out? Also, no. Do I have some amazing magical power whereby I can manipulate brain waves and force people into slumber? Oh, I wish. So no, I don’t really think I make her go to sleep.

On the other hand, are you really referring to encouragement, facilitation or otherwise aiding to the best of my ability the descent into the Land of Nod by our little one? Damn skippy I do. I rock, I sing, I pace, I pat, I shush, I wrap, I cuddle, I read and I remove unwanted stimulation. I do these things in isolation, in combination and in succession. Does she always fall asleep? Well…eventually. But she may just be sick and tired of me.

So do I make her go to sleep? She’s a baby and I’m stronger than her so I can make her do a lot of things but sleep is not one of them. Unfortunately. Do I resent the implication that you are judging my parenting as seemingly lacking because the answer to your question was ‘no’? Just a little.

Restfully yours,

Your Loving Wife


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