Its The End Of The World As We Know It – And I Feel Fine?

Reuben Bed

Dear Breeder,

I do believe we have come to the end of the world as we know it. Or perhaps it is the beginning of the end. Some people think this is when you have children but I’m not so sure. And you did warn us what would happen. We even managed to heed your advice for about a year and a half. That’s a long time for Sparky because he’s like a big kid. Especially where Reuben is concerned. But now we’ve gone and done it and there’s no going back. We can’t undo what has been done and now it just remains to be seen if we have unleashed (no pun intended) a force we cannot control. Which is highly likely because – the dog has been allowed on the bed!

I guess it sort of happened in degrees. I mean, there was a progression from him sleeping in the kitchen, on his own, with closed doors in between us and him. Then we had a really hot summer and brought a baby into the house so to make him feel included (and cool) he moved into the hall, right at our bedroom door. Then we booked him in for another eye operation and felt sorry for him. Even more sorry than those times we would see him stare at us pitifully from the end of the bed when we were having a family moment with our daughter as if he wasn’t invited. So he got himself invited.

Now this isn’t such a big deal for some people. I am aware that many masters (ha – as if he ever sees either of us as a pack leader) allow their pets on the bed and some let their pets sleep on their bed in a permanent arrangement. I’m pretty sure however that the majority of those pets are not 50+ kilos. Because what we’re talking about here is less like letting a little pet sleep on your bed and more like inviting another whole person to share the space with you. Now Reuben may be kind of undersized for his age and he’s kind of skinny but he is not small. And he likes to sleep spread out with his head thrown back and his legs out straight. Which is inconvenient enough as it is on the floor occasionally, let alone on our bed.

It’s not as if we can go out and get a bigger bed either. We have a king size bed and he will happily take up close to half of it! In a vain attempt at controlling the situation we are trying to teach him that he is only allowed on the comforter and not on the other bed clothes so we can keep him at the end of the bed rather than smack bang in the middle of it but he seems to have a way of getting precisely what he wants in the end. Perhaps we’re lousy owners who confuse him with a lack of discipline and hard rules but we do love him. The little (figuratively not literally) bugger.

Yours sincerely,

Grand Duke Nicholas’s host mother.

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