The Good Scissors

Sculpture (1 of 1)

Dear Husband,

I have heard you say that its excessive to have an appliance for absolutely everything. There are a lot of cute gimmicks out there for sure and not all of them are really useful or practical when you think about it. I am beginning to see the need for kitchen shears however.

You and I have a bit of an ongoing battle regarding scissors. I like to always have a pair handy whenever I need them. You like to take them from their designated spot and frequently leave them somewhere else. Occasionally in other parts of the house. This is why there are supposed to be two pairs of scissors in that drawer – so odds are that at least one of them will be there if I need to use a pair. There is a reasonably cheap and crappy pair (which do still cut just fine) and a much nicer pair which I would prefer to use.

Now the phenomenon of “the good scissors” is not just me being pedantic. There are many people who like to covet and protect “the good scissors”. And here is where I think its sad that not more people of our age group remember The Late Show because Tony Martin did a great skit about this…Anyway, to cut a long story short, pardon the pun, we were both in the kitchen one day when I noticed you cutting up chicken necks for the puppy with a pair of scissors (and it was the good ones to boot!) and I gave you a foul look.

You immediately got defensive and said that you needed to put chicken necks on top of his normal food or else he might not eat it. You also needed to cut them up so they could be sprinkled across (if one can actually sprinkle chunks of chicken necks) and so we could make sure he wouldn’t choke on them as he might if they were left whole. You were somewhat belligerent at the time but you just didn’t get it. I then pointed out to you that I couldn’t give a rats about the chicken necks, or the fact that you were making them into bite sized pieces – I was just pissed that you were cutting up bone with the general use scissors! We already have a meat cleaver for that and if you insist on snipping them up then we could use some kitchen shears but don’t use my good scissors.

Frustratedly yours,

Your Loving Wife

* Photo taken at 2010’s Sculpture By The Sea


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