Births, Deaths & Marriages


Dear Husband,

I think we had a slight communication breakdown regarding the form for births, deaths and marriages. You decided that you wanted to fill this in at the hospital and I was fine with that. You filled out all of our personal details correctly of course but then you got to the back page which was regarding the application for a birth certificate.

This page stated that you had to pay for a birth certificate and that you could either get a standard birth certificate or you could order the commemorative pack which consisted of a “pretty” birth certificate ie. one with baby footprints, pastel colored designs or cute zoo animals and a standard birth certificate. This page was also full of pictures of each of the commemorative certificates on offer which is what you held up to show me when you asked something along the lines of do we want to order one of these.

My reply to this was something along the lines of no, we really don’t need to spend that much money and there isn’t really any point in getting one. I meant the cutsie certificate. So when you got back in the car after submitting the form and said yeah, the guy at the counter thought it was a bit strange and said are you sure you don’t want a birth certificate but I assured him we didn’t, my response was of course we do! Why on Earth would we not want a birth certificate for our daughter!?!

You then got very defensive and said that you had actually asked me and I had said no. It didn’t occur to you that when you held up the page full of commemorative certificate pictures that i might assume you were referring to those. It didn’t occur to me that you would actually ask whether we needed a birth certificate at all.

Without a birth certificate, our daughter has no form of identification. This would mean that we couldn’t open a bank account for her, we couldn’t get a passport for her and we would probably have trouble enrolling her in school when the time came. Which is why I figured that a certificate was kind of essential, even if we did have to pay for it. So you asked if I wanted you to back in and order one and I said yes! After which you huffed off in the heat to make sure that in the future, we can prove the Geniebean is a real person.

Officially yours,

Your Loving Wife


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