People say that you may feel “weepy or irritable”. Weepy!? Ha! They say that its not an illness per se and it doesn’t normally last for very long however the condition is so prevalent in new mothers that it is considered completely normal. Sure, thats great. It doesn’t necessarily make me feel any better right at the moment however. And can I just say at this point that the Baby Blues suck eggs?
All of a sudden, my hormones went crazy and my eyes started dripping like a leaky faucet. Or perhaps that was tears started flowing in a torrential downpour! I couldn’t have filled a bath tub or anything but leaking doesn’t seem a strong enough term to cover the fact that i could barely keep my eyes dry today. Even though I was no longer pregnant, I turned into one of those women that movies make fun of all the time. You know, the ones who cry at toilet paper commercials and ads with fluffy animals in them. Basically, at the drop of a hat. The waterworks today were phenomenal and they just wouldn’t stop!
Now often for new mothers, they are in part stressed and worried and concerned which sort of provides justification in a way for the dramatic and sudden overhaul of their general demeanor. I mean one minute they are fine, buzzing on the high of new motherhood and the next, you would swear their favorite aunt had just died. The thing is though, there doesn’t need to be a reason. Because I felt perfectly fine.
I suppose you could say that this morning, I thought it was a shame that I’d have to go home tomorrow. I guess one might also say that I was disappointed that my milk hadn’t really come it whilst I was at the hospital. You could definitely say that I was tired but I was feeling quite calm about the whole thing. I wasn’t working myself up into a paranoid frenzy that I was going to be the worst mother on the planet and screw you up, turning you into a menace to society. No. I was perfectly rational and comfortable that my “wing it” philosophy was going to work out. At least in the short term. I was just bawling my eyes out.
On the upside however, I managed to do it in front of the right person. Fortunately for me, I was offered the chance to stay an extra day in hospital which I greatly appreciated. I am very grateful to have the opportunity for an extra 24 hours of professional support. So you might argue that was I was in fact troubled by the thought of going home in one day but after this extra day was granted, I still couldn’t stop the waterworks. Which really freaked your dad out!
Hopefully tomorrow will be somewhat drier.