To-Do List

Dear Husband,

I think you’re cheating. Not on me. That’s not what I meant. But adding things to the to-do list that probably weren’t really meant to be done in the first place to make it look like you have accomplished more than you actually have is kind of like cheating.

I constantly have a list of things I need to do going round my head. Do the washing, do the washing up, fold the washing, vacuum, tidy, clean, clear out the fridge etc. A lot of things come into my mind cause I actually look at the house as I walk around it. I don’t boy-look. Or perhaps it is that I care what I’m looking at as I walk around it. Whatever the case, it is reasonably clear that you don’t see or mind the same things as I do so I have to ask a truckload of times when I want to you to do anything. I am used to this.

Some things I have to ask for over several months and others I need to ask for over several weeks but you told me previously that you didn’t require me to physically write out a list. You do however get petulant with me when you finally do something and I respond with hey, thats great, thanks for that, are you able to do this for me too? Its like I’m supposed to believe that guys are only capable of one domestic chore per day and I’m coming close to wrecking the space-time continuum by expecting anything more. Or maybe its the event boundary thing rearing its ugly head meaning you were in that moment of triumph that something had been completed, totally unaware that there was anything else that needed doing. So it was like I sprung it on you out of nowhere purely to crush your dreams of a beer and a kip. Like the horrible wife that I am.

So anyway, the nothing happening wasn’t working for me recently and neither were the insinuations that I was coming up with random things out of nowhere to make your life difficult. So I wrote a list. It was a list of things that needed doing of which I could do some as well but most required at least your participation. Whilst technically possible to get everything done in one weekend, I really didn’t expect that this was going to be the case because your time management skills have a curious habit of breaking down without monetary incentive. And I can’t afford to pay you. But still, I wrote a list so you couldn’t say you weren’t forewarned or forearmed.

I just thought I’d mention that “paint garage floor” and “paint Karlos” as tasks that you could then cross off this list is kind of cheating.

It was kind of funny though.

Notably yours,

Your Loving Wife

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