Dear Button,

You know what sucks about being pregnant? Well, a lot of things suck really and a most of them are different for each person but it almost seems to me that some things are unavoidable. Like the towel thing.

I have decided that I would be in the market for a pregnancy towel if there was one available. Obviously not so in the market that I’ve googled it to see if the issue has pissed off someone else enough to come up with a product but I do notice that every time I take a shower, wrapping a towel around myself afterwards is not always a convenient state of affairs and it doesn’t matter what size the towel actually is either.

Obviously, the normal bath towels were small and not quite up to the job before I got pregnant but now that I am at the end of pregnancy, even the bath sheets are no longer sufficient. Nor is my bathrobe. Sure, I could go out and buy like a size 22 bathrobe so there would be enough towelling to go around my middle but then I think I’d lose my shoulders or something. My bust is definitely not big enough to sustain (or support) that much more material up top. My boobs are bigger than they were, sure but they’re not that big!

So I wrap my bath sheet as tightly as I can around my bust and tuck the end into itself to form a sort of dress. Instead of the tube dress effect however where the bust measurement is somewhat akin to the hip measurement and you get a straight up and down looking dress, my belly measurement is way bigger than my hip measurement. This means that it wouldn’t matter if my rear end was the size of Texas because I already have an a-line thing going on, which, and I don’t know if this is just me, seems to make it all the more easy for the towel to fall off somewhere between the bathroom and my getting dressed. Which can be kind of inconvenient.

But this isn’t the only thing that is inconvenient at this late stage of pregnancy. I have also decided that centrifugal force is not my friend. This probably sounds a little strange but let me explain. Sparky and I like to argue in the car. We argue at home too as all married couples do I guess but when we are both in the car together and not actually looking at each other, sometimes it is a little easier to be more candid or pull the passive aggressive act on each other and Sparky is not real good at driving sedately when he is narked at me. As a consequence, his more aggressive driving usually sees him shorten his braking distances which both frustrates and freaks me out occasionally and he takes corners faster than he normally would. Here is where my problem starts.

I will be sitting quite comfortably in the passenger seat of the car and as anyone knows, when you take a corner fast, the centrifugal force pushes your body out and you start to lean towards the outside of the car. Kids often like to exaggerate this effect and play “corners” when in the car with their parents to either annoy them or for the main purpose of ramming their shoulders into their siblings as some sort of retribution for a nominal slight. When you’re heavily pregnant however, your body still leans but all of a sudden you’ve got this additional protrusion that doesn’t have the same support as your back and shoulders. And it wants to “lean” a little further than the rest of your body. And its really uncomfortable. Perhaps I should be thankful that we don’t have one of those really fancy cars that like to molest you around corners and compensate by pushing in the edges of the seat to cushion you around corners – then only the belly would be moving!

I guess the last thing is actually something I could probably fix by not participating in or picking fights with Sparky in the car but lets face it, thats not really going to happen because nature can indeed sometimes be a cruel mistress.

Bis dann,


* I would give credit for the image if I had the faintest idea of who created it


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