Innovation Degeneration At Dishlex

Dear Dishlex,

I was just wondering on which planet your dishwasher designers are currently living because they seem to have designed the drawers in our new dishwasher for maximum inefficiency. Or maybe I should ask where are they living because if you were to answer Lilliput, well at least that would make a little more sense. If everything we owned was about half its current size, I’m sure it would fit beautifully. As it is however, we own normal sized things for actual people and despite my ninja/tetris-like dishwasher packing skills (which seem to allow me to get twice as many items in the dishwasher as a number of other people also responsible for packing it), this is only a help when its full. When I am wedging resting the items against each other as opposed to just resting them on the surface on which they were intended to sit.

Now maybe you all come from offices, dorms or households where all the dirty dishes get stacked on a bench or similarly available surface until it is deemed that the pile would be sufficient to fill a dishwasher. Perhaps you wait for this point before you even attempt the packing itself. This would then mean that it doesn’t really matter what the actual configuration of all the little metal bits on the tray or drawer are because as I mentioned, the contents can just rest on each other anyway. For the rest of the population that stack as they go however, the fact that you can only stand glasses and mugs along the edges of the top level and none in the middle (unless you want them to fall over every time you close the appliance) is very annoying! And when you can’t actually fill up the dishwasher, this may mean that by the end of a wash cycle, you discover that some items have spent the whole time with their open side up and so all you ever get for your troubles are containers full of water. Which you inevitably end up spilling on the dry contents below when you get them out.

But my gripe doesn’t stop there. Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security that maybe you stuffed up the top shelf but at least you got the bottom shelf right because you didn’t. The fact that the prongs on the bottom level are sufficient to hold as few bowls as possible is also a cause for acute frustration. In a location where there are more than four people who eat breakfast, it would be convenient if the prongs were just a little farther apart so we could fit bowls and plates and cutlery & the like but sadly, no. It pretty much becomes one or another sometimes. If the only thing we wanted to fit on the bottom was plates then we’d be laughing but we usually end up trying to fit crockery, carafes, chopping boards and overflow glassware that doesn’t fit on top. Which in some cases is an exercise in futility because in addition to the prongs being quite close together, they are also quite short which means that mugs are ok but hi-ball glasses and carafes tend to topple over.

And the fun doesn’t stop there. The oh so clever cover on the cutlery receptacle which allows you to place each individual piece of cutlery into its own hole is all good and well unless you have one of those BBQ like cutlery sets with the fat plastic handles or those metal cutlery sets with the really wide bases or, you know, peelers and other such kitchen utensils. Now we can take the cover with the individual holes off but I can’t help thinking that it might have been a good idea to make this cover in two halves rather than one piece because most of our stuff fits but all of it doesn’t. And speaking of things that you can detach, the wine glass holders are also all good and well but when they are attached and out in order to accommodate wine glasses, there are not many glasses that fit under them so you get to waste space and when they are “conveniently” folded back, one supposes to be out of the way, glasses don’t even fit properly along the edges so we have to take them off to stack the dishwasher without wine glasses anyway. And the damn things have clamps that snap easily.

All in all, I would have to say that the design of this particular dishwasher should be awarded the status of EF. Epic Fail. Thankfully, I didn’t actually pay for it and its not mine so I don’t have to deal with this when I go home. On the upside though, now I know that if I ever have to go dishwasher shopping, there is a brand that I can strike from the list straight up.

The office gopher and dishwasher stacker.

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