Baby Showers

Dear Husband,

I just wanted to give you a gentle heads up that you may have missed the point of the baby shower. Completely. Over the last couple of weeks, you have been coming up to me with various gift ideas and I felt it was my duty to strongly suggest that these would perhaps not be best received or embraced by our friends, and well, me. The most glaringly inappropriate of these ideas I felt were the following:

  1. A lawn service for three months.
  2. Cash towards home renovations.

In case you were under the misaprehension, baby showers are not about your dislike of home handyman-ness. To be honest, they’re sometimes not really about the baby either. They are however usually for the baby. And to answer your next point, no, having cut grass so we don’t lose the baby in the lawn somewhere and getting a wardrobe built so we can get all our clothes out of the baby’s room doesn’t count.

Baby showers are about:

  • Making the mother (me) feel better about looking like a beached whale
  • Buying something that the giver will hopefully catch the baby/parents using at some point when they next see them (wardrobes don’t count)
  • Offering a consolation prize for the fact that “the belly” has now become public property and everyone wants to touch it
  • Buying boring and or expensive baby paraphernalia that the parents “think” they require for the newborn
  • Looking awesome in front of the other baby shower guests buy coming up with the best gift

or alternately

  • Blessing the parents with items they either need or want for the good of their impending child

Basically, people like to buy stuff for the baby. Like clothes and blankets and toys and books. Especially as you can get things that are relatively nice for relatively little. No one wants to say here’s $20, buy yourselves half a shelf with my love. So I’m maybe thinking that I should have veto rights on any sort of “baby registry” list if we get to that stage.

Just so as I don’t end up with a subscription to Home Brewer or anything like that.

Pregnantly yours,

Your Loving Wife

* Photo taken at the recent Vivid Festival.

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