Option One: Tent Chic

Dear Internet,

You seem to be the most likely “person” to ask – what do Russian women wear when they get pregnant? You know, when its colder than a witches tit outside (although I’m still a little unsure of why this should be an extreme measure of presumably sub-zero temperatures). What is it that they wear to keep from freezing their various bits off, preferably before they are the size of the proverbial barn? I only ask because I am aware of what Australian and English women wear during the dead of winter, and apparently its knee length, short sleeve dresses, light cardigans and tights if you are so inclined. Which is fine if you live in Darwin or you are holidaying there but I personally have found that its not completely practical elsewhere. Like where I live.

Despite growing up in a reasonably cool city (as in you do get into the minus temperatures every winter), I seem to perpetually feel the cold. Maybe I have a talent for finding every available draft or air-conditioning vent blowing less than toasty air. I don’t know. Anyway, its not unusual for me to wear a singlet, a spencer, a turtleneck and a coat – inside the office. Which was fine when my uterus was not the size of a grapefruit. Now however, I have a markedly reduced choice of clothes to wear from my current wardrobe (unless I want to stretch them all to the point that they only look suitable whilst pregnant) and an even smaller choice it seems when it comes to maternity wear.

If tent chic was what I was going for then I’d probably be ok. I could wear a couple of layers of moderately voluminous clothes topped off with the tent to end all tents of a top. Since I’m not yet very pregnant and I don’t particularly enjoy looking like a lumpy Michelin Man, my main choices seem to be flowing sort of tops that really don’t go well under things (or sometimes over them for that matter) and gathered tops that don’t appear to go either under or over other tops either. The flowy tops tend to let cold air in all sorts of places and the gathered tops, well, many of them are still “loose” to some extent or made from a thin and flimsy material which isn’t helpful. These items would I guess both be fine under a winter coat but I’m still trying to work out a non-frumpy way to get another two layers into my ensemble. Without going and getting something made. It shouldn’t be this hard to look “nice”.

I am assured that by the time I get to the end of my pregnancy, my core body temperature will have risen several degrees and I will feel hot all the time so voluminous clothes will be a blessing. I apparently won’t have the need to wear multiple layers and the less that one layer covers, the better. I currently see that state of affairs as being an improvement on the present situation but I must say that at the moment, I am frustrated. There seems to be very little choice that comes at a similar price tag to the rest of my wardrobe (sorry, but I don’t normally spend $80 to buy a tank top) and the rest of it is ugly. Beggars can’t be choosers I suppose and pregnant women are a somewhat captive audience. There aren’t a large enough number of us, especially in this short lived state, to justify a decent range of more affordable clothing. We’re also somewhat emotional and may still believe we have a disposable income beyond what it costs to raise a child. All I know is I wish there was more options out there. Or maybe I just wish I lived in a more temperate climate. Then I wouldn’t be having this problem!

The Cold Maternity Wear Wearer

* I’ve got no idea who took this photo – I shamlessly stole it from here.

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