Just For The Record

Dear Husband,

As you are aware, I occasionally like to note the things you say down. Sometimes because they amuse me. Sometimes because I think they might come in handy as ammunition proof later. So I thought I might share some of those with you now. Totally because they were amusing of course…

DH: I love it when you REmember me, not when you DISmember me! Two very different feelings. One is like Ahhh….and the other is like ARGH!!!

By the way, I would just like to point out that at least the last three times you were knackered accidentally, it was the puppy, not me. So credit where credit is due, yeah?

DH: Lack of understanding is not the fault of the explainer. It is the explainee who is the edjit!

Ahh…so when I think you are talking nonsense, clearly I am at fault because only an idiot wouldn’t recognise that you are ALWAYS right. Is that it?

DH: You agreed.
ME: Tacitly.
DH: Don’t use big words in the morning. Save them for later when I don’t know what they mean but I’m awake.

Yes dear. Sorry.

DH: Are you cold? Do you want me to go back so you can get a jacket??
ME: No, I’ll be fine.
DH: I just want to make sure you’ll be warm enough…
ME: Says the man in the t-shirt when its like less than 10 degrees out…
DH: Yes, but I don’t feel the cold.
ME: That’s right, they do say no brain, no pain.
DH: No. I’m numb, not dumb. Can’t you stop picking on me all the time?
ME: I could, but you make it so easy.
DH: You’re never nice to me.
ME: I’m nice to you lots of times but you just say yeah, thanks, whatever, and focus on the bad stuff. Maybe you should learn to take a compliment.
DH: I tried but I failed.
ME: So you gave up trying?
DH: No. I gave up failing, and by proxy, the trying too.
ME: I think you are trying sometimes…

So don’t you sit there thinking that I have the monopoly on being trying. That’s all I’m saying.

Lovingly yours,

Your Loving Wife

* Photo taken at the Medieval Fayre in Nurangingy.

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