Navel-gazing Ten

Dear Button,

I hope you get my brains. I’m just saying. Not that Sparky isn’t smart. He is. Really. He just has his moments. Like I’ve said before. The other day wasn’t one of them however. This was before we knew you were, you know, you, but definitely after we had been trying for you. So Sparky couldn’t say that he wasn’t there and had no idea! He could possibly say that he wasn’t paying any attention to me whatsoever when I started talking about the probability of getting pregnant after the miscarriage at the first opportunity though. He must have known however that the possibility of you was never off the table…

So, we’re driving along and I am saying that I’d like to go to the shops before the end of the day because there are some things I’d like to buy like food and drink (eating dinner is always nice) and I also mentioned that I wanted to buy a pregnancy test. Sparky’s immediate response was “Why?”. Umm…I like the packets and I was thinking about making a collage so I was after a physical package in my possession so I could get some ideas flowing…“because I think I might be pregnant?”. Why the hell else do you buy a pregnancy test?? But then the genius didn’t stop there.

After my little “bombshell” which I believe shouldn’t have been anything other than eventually expected, his next contribution was “Already??”. “Ahh…Yes”. I miscarried well over a month ago. The human body has this funny way of resetting itself. And then, you know, theres the physics of the situation for which you were undoubtedly present. We did talk about this already. Although maybe you were only there in body and not in spirit. For the conceiving again conversation, not for the conception itself I mean. I can’t remember precisely the words that I used at the time but maybe as soon as the words “period” or “menstruate” came out of my mouth, anything following that was interpreted as “blah blah baby blah blah…”. Like some sort of safety mechanism so you don’t have to hear anything else that might come under the banner of “Too Much Information”. Just a theory.

But it all added up to my idea that maybe it’d be nice if you got my brains. Or at least an effective brain to mouth filter. Those come in handy too.

Alles Liebe

Lexelah

* I would credit the image I shamelessly stole if I knew who actually created it.

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