I hate Valentines Day. I think you know that. Its not because I’m anti-love or romance, or because I was always single on this day until I met you have now formed some vendetta against an unidentifiable target. I think its great to express your love and affection to others. I merely object to the insinuation that you must do it on this day and the ensuing attitude by many (not you) that you only have to do it on this day. I also object to the commercial nature of the day and the premium on flowers and restaurants. And while I’m at it, I also object to the feeling of exclusion that is inspired in many of those without a valentine.
I know of course that this is not how you see the day. I know you continually like to do little things for me regardless of the day. I also know that you could make a fair argument that I don’t have the same qualms about the commercialism of Christmas or Mothers Day etc. Theres just something about Valentines Day though that says to me if you’re going to do something then buying a box of chocolates for your husband is a cop out. The sentiment of this day requires more than a token gesture or a random gift. Its not about physical things. It requires effort. Which is why I felt a bit guilty when you gave me this.
You found the gift that I could appreciate for the time, the effort, the thought and the lack of money because you know I would have throttled you if you’d actually bought anything. You also let me know though that in considering and creating this, you had been catching up on the past months that I had written about but that you had not yet taken the time to read. You then made the comment to me however that I used to occasionally write nice things about you but that the last few months had been somewhat negative and for that I’m truly sorry. I write things usually because I feel strongly about them. Sometimes that comes from my own amusement but often from frustration. I try to be fair and admit when I contribute to that circumstance but sometimes I probably don’t do myself any favours – or you either for that matter.
So I just wanted to let you know:
- I love that when you decide to focus on me, it really is like nothing else exists for you in that moment. You give me your attention, you watch and you listen. You consider and respect and you are honest with me. Of course, bets are kind of off if Mythbusters is on tv…but you know that I’d probably get a nervous tick if I wrote anything too sappy…
- I love that you always want to be aware of what is out there. I don’t think I give you enough credit for constantly looking at options and possibilities…for everything. I know I have previously made the comment that you can jump from one thing to another or that some of the ideas I’ve heard seem a little crazy but the flipside of this is that you don’t want to settle for second best…and you married me.
- I love that you have a heart for people. You have more compassion for others than a lot of people I know and you are usually willing to put yourself out at a moment’s notice if someone you know is in need.
Happy Valentine’s Day,
Your Loving Wife
* Photo taken of new blooms in our garden