Navel-gazing Four

Dear (hypothetical) Button,

I have a question for you. Not that I expect you would really be able to answer it with anything even resembling surety but it might give you something to think about…

Will Sparky be:

a) an ORGANISED DAD – the sort of man who would make sure the hospital bags were packed at 5 months and three possible routes to said hospital (and perhaps a backup hospital for good measure) were plotted and timed

b) an INVOLVED DAD – the sort of man who always wants to know how you’re feeling & if anything is changing, who tries to take you through breathing exercises, tells you continually everything will be alright and throws every suggestion he’s ever read on the internet at you that may make things even a bit better

c) a FREAKED OUT DAD – the sort of man who will be looking for his keys at the last minute and telling himself repeatedly “we can’t have the baby in the car” like a mantra as he runs around like a chook with its head cut off

I ask this question because last week while we were on our way home from somewhere, Sparky asked if I’d like to go and visit the maternity unit at the nearest private hospital and my immediate answer was “no, no I don’t”. Which kind of shut that conversation down pretty quickly. Honestly though, I don’t see the point in doing this right now. We already know that the place he suggested would be the primary option. Its not as if we’re after a basis for comparison so we can make an informed decision. Later is fine. I have better things to do with my time at the moment.

Besides, we don’t know categorically that I’ll even be able to use such facilities. Its no fun looking with intent to buy now only to find out afterwards that you can’t get a line of credit. Visiting the hospital therefore is kind of like…going to Ikea in a way. There’s no point going there unless you have to, you need something and you can afford it. It will always take you longer than you think and when you get there, the amount of money its actually going to cost you gets quite a bit more real. Although some people seem to think that Ikea is a pretty good place to just window shop so what do I know?

So because Sparky is not quite game enough I think to show up to a maternity ward by himself without a partner, no matter how curious he may be (there could be heavily pregnant yelling women there and that would be terrifying!), there has been no visit to the hospital as yet. I imagine it may happen sometime in the future if such a necessity arises but now is not the time.

And in case you were wondering about the answer to my question, it was actually a trick question. Why couldn’t he be all three!?! Truth be told, I don’t actually know what the correct answer is however my educated guess would be that its quite possibly a little from column A and a little from column B etc. I love Sparky dearly but after living with him for a number of years, I have gotten used to a couple of his quirks (others still baffle me) and I’m pretty sure its not:

d) a TOTALLY HAS IT ALL TOGETHER DAD – the sort of man who slips into the role of imminently expecting father like he’s always done it. Calm under the face of pressure and not phased by either the slightest deviation of schedule or extreme change in the program.

But having said that, out of everyone I have ever known, I don’t know anyone who could be considered as fitting that description. So all in all, if you were to get any of the first options mentioned or a combination of all three of them, you would be pretty lucky because that means they care. Sure, I may be swearing at Sparky at the time and calling him the devil’s spawn for getting me in that position but you have to allow for extenuating circumstances.

Alles Liebe,


* I would credit the image if I had the faintest idea of who owned it.


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