Thank you for your lesson last night. Apparently I had things all wrong. Of course, I wasn’t exactly the only one. That was why I called your mind back to the previous morning. Which would now, as it is the next day, be two mornings ago wouldn’t it? Anyway, I asked you last night to recall the morning when I noticed that the ironing board was still in the living room right in front of the hallway door. A circumstance that was neither logistically nor aesthetically pleasing to me personally. I asked you to recall this morning because this was when I ever so subtly remarked that I hoped the ironing board (thus positioned) would not become a permanent fixture in our home.
Now as any married man knows, there are remarks and there are remarks. So you were aware at the time, that I remarked this in such a way as to make it perfectly obvious this was in fact a question as well as a remark. I also delivered it in such a fashion as to make it perfectly clear that in addition to actually being a question, it was a request for action. So naturally you understood that the only appropriate response was no, it won’t be permanent and I (meaning you) will move it tomorrow. But as I have now learnt, our bedroom door is an “event boundary” and once you walk out of it you are much more likely to forget anything you agreed to whilst on the inside so it didn’t really come as any great shock when by the end of “tomorrow”, nothing had moved.
So last night I asked you to recall this conversation and your response because hey, I still wanted the ironing board gone. I asked if maybe it might be possible for you to get back on that task because after all, I wanted the ironing board gone. I also mentioned that this was probably not a conversation you wanted to have with me again and the best way to avoid that was to take some affirmative action which would incidentally solve my problem as well – me wanting the ironing board gone. I went through all this to be told by you to stop talking about it because I was ruining your day. I then communicated my erroneous assumption that as far as you were concerned, any day with sex in it was a good day only to be told “no, get it right”. Apparently it is any sex in a day is good. The day might be completely crap but sex is always good. I stand corrected.
Educatedly (yes I make up my own words) Yours,
Your Loving Wife
* Photo taken at this year’s Sculptures By The Sea