Home Renovations

Dear Husband,
Just to continue with the bathroom theme of showers and organisation etc., it wasn’t that long ago that we were discussing potential renovations for the littlest room in the house. Which is in fact probably not the littlest room in our house because I believe that the laundry has that distinction but you get my meaning. That place where you find a lot of plumbing and we make calls of nature and clean ourselves. Now, as is your way, you like to make elaborate plans with all the money that we don’t have (the split level garage, the louvered pergola, the concrete wine cellar) so you started to redesign our bathroom. You didn’t go overboard and start factoring in marble vanities and claw footed tubs or anything like that but you did get quite absorbed in the process. You also got quite pissed with me when I didn’t like what you had designed.
This may come as a surprise to you Dear Husband but I do actually want to have a say on how our house looks and on what we spend our money. The functionality is also important to me because I use that room just as much as you do. Therefore, when you don’t consult me at all and come up with solutions that do not address my problems (and even create some for me), you really shouldn’t be surprised that I am not singing your praises and extolling your virtues when you present me with your ideas. And its not as if when you did convey your ideas I told you that they were so overwhelmingly horrendous as to be likened to a second Titanic or the next Hindenburg. No, I just said: 
·        I’d like to keep the bath. We plan on having a family eventually but even if we can’t, I still see the potential for children in the house that need a bath. Sure, babies might fit in the kitchen sink before they perhaps graduate to the laundry tub but after that, the shower is it (unless you want to hose them down outside) and I can tell you that I am not going to jump in the shower to wash a kid every time they need to be scrubbed down. Plus, baths are really good for soaking things like king bed comforters that don’t really fit in the washing machine.
·        I don’t think you should open a shower door onto a shower head. I just think this makes common sense. You run the risk of cracking or scratching the door if the head is in the way or getting the outside of the door wet (if the head is higher) when you nip out of a running shower to get that extra towel or bottle of shampoo that you forgot. If the shower is over the bath, why not put the door at the other end to the running water? Although I happen to think that this becomes a slightly moot point because…
·        It might make more sense to have multiple sliding doors to create a wider opening. And now I’m back to the kids thing again and perhaps the dog too. If you are going to be lifting shorter things than you in and out of the bath, wouldn’t you want to make it as convenient as possible? I can tell you now that getting a skittish 80kg Great Dane into the bath through an opening less than a metre wide is so not my idea of fun.
·        I like natural light. We have a window in the bathroom. It is small but its there. We also get natural light through it at the moment which is actually quite helpful. Especially when applying makeup. This is more my issue than yours, sure, but the overhead light casts shadows and hues over the skin and that is not an optimal solution. Therefore I would seek to maximise the use of natural light in the room rather than sticking a whopping great opaque wall in front of it.
·        I HATE BI-FOLD DOORS. Ok, so I didn’t need to write that all in caps and I don’t hate bi-fold doors but seriously, bi-fold doors to the bathroom? Bi-fold doors can be shower doors or room dividers or even those café doors that open out onto patios but for bedrooms and bathrooms, they would never be my first choice. Which you know. Or at least you should have. Despite having had the conversation previously however, you seemed shocked (again) that I could possibly have an issue with this – which just goes to show that despite what you say, you do not always listen to me when I’m talking to you (or do not care to make the effort to remember). Or perhaps its in one ear and out the other when I am disagreeing with you?
So I had a few issues with your suggested bathroom designs. I thought I was very nice about it at the time, not raising my voice or attacking you etc. I tried to gently offer some constructive criticism and suggest that maybe you hadn’t taken quite enough factors into your design as might be necessary for a long term solution. Apparently though I was still doing my rousing impersonation of Captain Killjoy and crapping all over your creative genius which just made you pissed. You did kind of say sorry to me later so I think you figured out that I wasn’t trying to ruin your life after all but still, I promise it won’t kill you to ask “Hey, I’m think about redesigning this – is there anything you’d like me to take into consideration?”.
Consideringly yours,
Your Loving Wife
* Photo taken of a rose in our front garden – spring brings all sorts of surprises.
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