It would occasionally be nice to think that you and I were like Eric and Annie Camden and we were living in 7th Heaven. You know, all love and forgiveness and understanding and those other fluffy things. Not that we don’t actually have those things now of course. And by likening them to fluffy I am not trying to say that I don’t think they are important because they are. Its just that when I think of you and I and where we are at right now, I think we are a little rougher around the edges. I think we’re a little more Dan and Roseanne of the no last name required.
I was thinking this thought this morning as I stared at the tub of hair gel that was sitting on the edge of the vanity in the bathroom. The tub that I have been waiting over a couple of weeks for you (at sometime) to put a lid on when you’re not using it. The tub I can foresee falling off and oozing all over the tile floor if the puppy got a bit boisterous when you were trying to get him into the shower. The tub that may well be at wagging tail height if the great dane were no longer a pup but a dog. The same tub that could easily succumb to gravity if you knocked it off the edge whilst shuffling past half asleep at some obscene hour of the morning to pee. The tub that I can see potentially speckled with the dying bugs that have snuck into bathroom and gotten caught. The bugs who continually find their way through the flyscreen on the window that has remained slightly open ever since we bought the house because I’m pretty sure it was painted that way. Or perhaps I should say the tub that slowly absorbs bits of spittle and toothpaste as we clean our teeth every day (the vanity is really not that large) or splashes of water as we wash our hands and faces in the sink (did I mention that the vanity wasn’t very large?). Anyway, lets just say that I can envisage a whole host of things that would I assume not be desirable to one who actually uses the product.
And I thought this, that we were a lot more like Dan and Roseanne, when I looked at your open tub of hair gel because I was reminded of an old episode. When I looked at that tub that I had no intention of closing myself in order to potentially avoid any of the aforementioned undesirable occurrences, I was reminded of the time when DJ was pointing at Darlene. Being a typical younger brother, DJ was trying to get a rise out of Darlene at the kitchen table by continuing to hold his index finger pointed at her about an inch from her body. She of course tired of the situation quite quickly and turned around and thumped him one. It was at this point that DJ let out the wail of the maligned younger child and went crying to Dan complaining that “she hit me and I didn’t even touch her!”. Dan of course had been sitting at the kitchen table the whole time reading a newspaper but knew exactly what was going on and replied back without missing a beat “well it was hardly worth it then was it?”.
That’s kind of what I was thinking if something ever happened to your hair gel.
Your Loving Wife
* Photo taken at Sculptures By The Sea 2011