Month Twenty-Seven

Dear Husband,
This last month as you know was my birthday month. And this year I think, it went pretty well. It was beginning to look a little sketchy around the time you started planning a dinner in celebration which was not my preference but once you came around to listening to me at the same time as talking to me regarding the day (two very different skills Dear Husband), we ended up with a brunch in our back yard that was fun. A dinner might actually have been fun too however my birthday is one of those things where I think experience has taught us that you either ask me what I want to do beforehand and we do that or you organise the whole thing and simply tell me what we’re doing on the day. At which point you probably also have to be prepared for the fact that I might not like it…
I swear I don’t mean to be difficult…or selfish (which is exactly how I’m sounding, I know)…but I get frustrated when you build up my special day and tell me in the lead up that the planning is all about me and you want me to have the best day ever and then we get to my birthday and you say “so what do you want to do?”. Because at that point, I’m like what happened to all the planning? You didn’t factor in that at some point we’d need to eat? You know I’m not pretty when I’m hungry…I’m not proud, I’m just saying…So we’ve worked out that if you’re going to ask me that then it had best be before my actual birthday and if I give you an answer then that probably means that I care. So if you completely ignore me, I’m going to be pissed. Therefore, for my birthday this year, after consultation, we had a mountain of delicious food, friends and family in the backyard for brunch. The weather held which was awesome…and you were totally vindicated in picking up the freebie carport-pergola thing that I originally thought was a waste of space. You now have my permission to say I told you so about the new shelter. It was indeed a good find. Especially since it served its purpose so well that we actually left it in place.
So you survived planning another one of my birthdays. You were even chuffed with yourself when you managed to buy me a gift that I 1) had not actually asked for or named  and 2) did actually appreciate. Now I can understand being pleased by such a find because, I will admit, I’m not the easiest person to buy for really, but apparently I did underestimate the significance of such a gift discovery. Or maybe the present hierarchy is just beyond my understanding. According to you it seems, there is apparently an unwritten hierarchy of gifts. I’m not 100% sure what it is or how many variants of gifts actually exist but I am assuming it looks a little like this:
Something she wants dearly but would never ask for = The Most Awesome Gift Ever = an L series lens or a rose gold teardrop pendant and necklace (which incidentally would also require us to have won lotto first)
Something she wants but hasn’t asked for yet = A Really Thoughtful Gift = the next book in a series she has been reading for years
Something she wants and has asked for = A Considerate Gift (because who are you to deny your love) = the next dvd set in the TV series we are currently watching
Something she kind of wants and asked you for when prompted = A Token Gift (because at least you didn’t go out and buy something tacky) = picture frames
Something she has not asked for because she would never actually want it in the first place = are you sure you’re not on the way to a divorce because this is A Completely Crap Gift = bath salts
(ps. For anyone else who happens to be reading this, the bath salts as a gift idea is a long running personal joke because I think they say the gift giver doesn’t know me at all and hasn’t put much effort in either – I don’t even take baths!)
Now I’m sure that there are a whole heap of levels including gifts that were not wanted but ultimately perceived as falling anywhere between surprise hits and total flunks etc. but the above contains the all important levels which correspond to the fact that the gift I didn’t ask for ranked way higher than a gift for which I had put in a request. So I’m figuring that either I just don’t get it (which is entirely possible) or this is “boy logic”, in which case – I still don’t get it (which I think is more likely).
Anyway, this month also held a mini getaway for me when work required that I travel up to the Gold Coast for two days. Whilst not quite the sun and sand that I was expecting, it didn’t actually rain and I managed to fit in a couple of walks on the beach. It was nice to see work people in a social setting as well. But what was good for me was not so good for you. I still struggle with the fact that you really don’t like it when I am away. Its hard to get excited that I’m doing something out of routine for a couple of days when you are being consumed by the fact that I’m not there. Hopefully its better now that we have the puppy and you’re not alone in the house but the fact that you can see no advantages to the change in circumstances is a shame. Especially when towards the beginning of the month, you had a bit of a health scare.
As far as we know, everything is ok and you are reasonably healthy. Of course you could afford to eat a little better. More vegetables and the like. You really didn’t need to go out and buy a second cache of candy for Halloween – I swear you only bought that one for yourself! It also might be an idea if we got back into some sort of regular exercise like, I don’t know, taking the dog for a walk now and then…It can be scary though when doctors start to ask you about the “C” word. When they begin to query if you have a history of cancer in your family or any other conditions that they should be concerned about. There was nothing much that you could actually tell them and in the end, there was not much they could tell you either but I know that for a while questions, concerns and worries were running rampant through your mind and stealing your sleep. Hopefully now that has eased and things are getting easier.
Always yours,
Your Loving Wife
* Photo taken of the Bird of Paradise flowers in our garden
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