Now that we have a dog, we need a new car. Or in my words, now that we have a dog who is going to grow into a small horse in the not too distant future, we will eventually need a new car to accommodate us taking him places that require motorised transportation. But I know that one of the differences between you and I, is that I will use about twenty-seven words when two will suffice so to make sure my main sentence is perfectly clear to both of us: now that we have a dog, we will eventually need a new car.
See those two words I added in there? The ones you seem to consider silent? Whilst they don’t technically change…something I probably learnt in linguistics a while ago which equates to the “us needing” bit, semantically, as a whole, they are oh so different. Especially in regards to the natural progression from that statement. Because this is the difference between us actually buying something in the near future, this year, this month maybe, by the time that ebay sale ends in seven days, now, as opposed to, you know, not now. Sometime next year. When the puppy is not a puppy anymore and no longer fits in the car we own. When we get money from this financial year’s tax refunds. Later.
Now there are a lot of good reasons for waiting till “later”. The aforementioned money I thought was a pretty good one. And then theres the fact that we don’t actually know what we want. That I think is a pretty good one too. I mean do we replace the car we have now with a large family car with a big boot? Do we buy an average 2nd car for interstate travel and trips to the dog park? Do we downgrade our small car to buy a nicer 2nd car for interstate travel and trips to the dog park? Do we buy a 4WD as the dog car? Could he even jump up to get in a car higher off the ground than ours? Could he do it when he was old? Is a wagon a better option in that case? Would he fit in a wagon sitting up or only lying down? Does that matter? And just when you thought you were running out of questions, what happens when you throw kids into the mix? Car seats? Strollers? Port-a-cots? Are we going to need a tow bar and a trailer just to haul all the crap that we can’t bear to leave behind any time we go more than 30kms from the house??
It can’t possibly be this complicated. I’m sure there are plenty of people who own pets that don’t even have a car. Right now though Dear Husband, we don’t need a new car. We don’t even need a different car. There is nothing wrong with looking of course. Doing your research and finding what is around. I have seen you looking though and I can notice the signs. If I’m not careful, this will turn into the house all over again, I know it. Back then you were looking online, just looking! You told me you had no intention of doing anything which is why you weren’t speaking to banks and what happened? A month or two later we bought a house! Ok, so that worked out well and I like the house but still, I got ready by the time we had to sign on the dotted line. Right now? Not ready to buy a car.
Now granted, you are somewhat limited in your ability to just go out and buy any car you want by several hundred thousand dollars worth of debt. You also have a healthy dose of fear that your wife would kill you (or at least make you sleep on the crappy sofa for a while) if you made such a purchase without her consent but I see you when you show me one of the ugliest cars I have ever seen on ebay. I hear you tell me so reasonably that its really quite affordable and you could even work on it yourself. I know you want a shiny new toy that I’m convinced will quickly lose it lustre…
Its possible I am being totally unfair but really, if you’re selling this car to me on the premise that you can work on it yourself, you’re also going to have to make me believe that this won’t be like the DIY guitar rack thats sitting in the garage unpainted or like the dog kennel you built thats sitting on the porch with scrunched up lino in the base and little protection against the elements. You have to convince me that you have time in addition to that which you have advised me you want to start spending at the gym and doing obedience training with the puppy. In this case, you would also have to get me to come around to the idea of an “ugly” car (crappy, I’m pretty fine with, ugly, not so much). So please, Dear Husband, try not to get so offended when I’m not super excited by your finds online and I’m not telling you to buy now before we miss it.
When you married me you knew I was going to be the logical one and I’m just not ready to buy a car.
A Libran and yours,
Your Loving Wife
* Photo of the puppy who fits just fine in our car at 19 weeks