What To Expect Your First Year – Part Two

Dear Husband,
So when reading the contents of What To Expect Your First Year, there were some “concerns” in month two with which I could sort of identify. Month one seemed to be taken up with dealing with a new situation in general, which is quite understandable really because this is one of the most stressful things you can go through in life. Month two however was a little more geared towards actually relating to someone in that situation including a “difficult baby” and how do you “talk” to that baby. And Baby, can I just say now, you is sometimes way totally difficult and you makes me sometimes full on frustrated! And no, I didn’t just turn the grammar checker off. That sentence is grammatically incorrect on purpose because occasionally as you are aware, that’s pretty much how we might speak to each other.
I’m not quite sure how it happened but it seems we don’t even need a baby for baby talk! When we met, I think I used to sound reasonably intelligent most of the time but then we got together and something went slightly pear-shaped. Instead of doing the whole adopting horrible kitsch names for each other though such as Sugar Pie or Honey Bunch or worse yet, Snuggle Muffin (why are so many of these related to food!?!), we have started occasionally speaking to each other like three year olds who haven’t quite grasped the comprehensive use of verb conjugations or the correct application of the past participle. Its not that we can’t do these things (since your mother is an English teacher, I think she’d have shot you by now if you couldn’t) but often, we just don’t. I think that our marriage must be at least somewhat responsible for the apparent and ongoing retardation of our linguistic ability in relation to each other. Not that I really mind so much because I do think its kind of cute in an obnoxious sort of way but occasionally I forget that we’re in public and we start getting a few weird looks. Have we become one of those annoying couples that are way too comfortable amongst company? Is it bad that we dided that?
Ungrammatically On Occasion Yours,
Your Loving Wife.

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