Month Seven

Dear Husband,
They say that when one door closes, another door opens, or as Julie Andrews would put it, when God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window. Well I can only surmise that we are currently standing in a corridor or experiencing a blackout where we are because this month it seemed that we could only see the doors closing around us. At least as far as work was concerned.
The beginning of this month saw you share the same experience that I recently had the misfortune of going through which left us both in the unemployment line. Or at least the queue for Centrelink. And whilst there were a few job leads throughout the month for each of us that seemed quite positive, there was nothing that came to fruition. On the plus side however, rather than being a catalyst to drive us apart, I think this probably helped bring us closer together. We were both more careful not to start pointless arguments this month and were seemingly more light-hearted and playful, as we were when we were first dating. There was support and encouragement from both sides and those small gestures that say I’m thinking of you. I think we even managed to have a short conversation via love notes written on the foggy bathroom mirror for the other to find when having a hot shower. Kitsch, I know, but amusing nonetheless at the time. We also gave the other more leeway I think to deal with the stressful situation.
We spent a lot of time in one another’s company this month and miraculously never actually wanted to kill each other. Although I learned that you have a rather interesting outlook on your life with me. Sentimental as I occasionally am, I have something you once said to me saved in my phone. We frequently joke that when you met and indeed married me, “You. Got. Lucky.” (which is of course always expressed with the punctuation and the emphasis on the lucky). One day however, you turned around to me in response and said in all seriousness that you didn’t get lucky, you got blessed. These words really struck me at the time and now they have a proud place beside a more recent sentiment which I happened to find hilarious, “[Loving you is] like getting an enema with a cactus!”. I’m not entirely sure what you meant by that but I figure it can’t be that bad because you’re still here. And thats what I would say about us this month. We’re still here.
It happened that this month, I got to open some words of advice written to me a number of months back. My sister decided that as part of my hens event, she would ask each of my girlfriends to write down some thoughts or advice that I could open at a later date. Most of the letters I have not yet been able to read as I’m neither pregnant, nor a mother and I haven’t felt as though I’ve really hit rock bottom. We have however gotten through half a year of matrimonial madness wedded bliss so I was able to open a message that urged me not to get complacent within the marriage. Now that we have apparently had time to identify more of each other’s “perks and quirks” so to speak, ,y friend cautioned me not to get too comfortable but to keep working on growing a deeper bond between us. She suggested that I reflect on our current relationship and respond to difficulties with love and not frustration, that we do something special together that we used to do before we were married and also remember at least 5 things I love about you and focus on them.
Well some things are definitely easier to do than others as we muddle our way through the lack of a real routine at present but fortunately there is no difficulty in thinking of reasons why I put up with you love you because there are many. At the top of my list at the moment would have to be that smile of yours that is part cheek and part guilt when you know you’ve just been busted doing something that you think you should not have done. Like finishing the last of the chocolate in the house without offering any to me. I have to say, its very funny to watch.
That aside however, together this month we say our first Valentines Day as a married couple arrive and pass with as much pomp and ceremony as any given Sunday, which is to say not at all. Just the way I like it. And as a couple, we also made the decision not to continue to do TAFE together so you will be left with some free nights while I attempt Certificate III in Auslan. I’m hoping that you use the time for your music or something else just for you but I guess we shall have to wait and see.
So we are finishing this month very much like we started it I guess. We are waiting to see how everything will pan out and where the next fork in the road will take us. I was asked this month by one of your relatives how married life was going so far and I have to say that apart from the fact that I still wouldn’t choose to be anywhere else (than by your side so to speak), its been a bit crap really. I think we might have had more than our fair hare of downs in such a short period of time and it’d make a nice change to feel on top of our game but then I guess that life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans is it not?
Still and ever yours,
Your Loving Wife
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